I posted this on another site and no one seemed to get it . Hopefully there are smarter people here.

A bit too busy here. The tense changes are a little annoying. However, the last four lines are outstanding and the concept is good.

Good rant. Good ol free speech.

Great meter. Just great.

Verisimilitude throws this off a bit, but I think it fits as a noticeable oddity. Really a good poem, overall.

I love L7. That makes the poem for me.

It's not a matter of intellectual odds. This is just an average poem. I get it, it's just not that appealing to me.

Good message, maybe replace the second vice with something else. Love the rhythm, especially the first stanza.

Great.

You really need to work on your grammar.

I officially can not read any more of your stuff. I kept reading in the hopes that I would find something which I could leave a nice comment on. Sadly, my poor eyes are at the verge of bleeding from this torture that I've been submitting them to. The poems seem amateurish, to say the least. I shan't be back here. My poor, poor mind. By the way ... it feels nice to be critized, doesn't it? You should think about that before insulting the next person next time. Live and learn ...if you're able.

Maybe someone would start caring if you changed your soddy attitude. I've seen comments that you've left on others' poems, and they were RUDE to put it mildy. My previous comments were left to teach you a lesson. It's not nice when you put effort into writing something, only to have someone else come tell you how unoriginal it is and how bad it is, when in fact this person is a far better writer than you ever have hope of being. For the record, she's been published more than just a few times ... have you ??? Learn your lesson in manners, child. Grow up and start being NICE to others for a change; would it kill you?????

You take the meaning of "free verse" to a whole new level, and I don't mean that as a compliment.

Potential, potential ... but not quite there.

Cupid ... I've seen countless poems about Cupid. This is not by far the most original.

Hmm, well I don't want to sound rude but this has been done a million times before, mostly on poemranker. Seriously, the 'loneliness-pain-death' theme could not be more overused. If you do think it's a subject you want to write about then please please please find a more original way of saying it. Have a read around poemranker, 50% of the poems on here contain more or less the same content as this, and that makes it boring for those few of us who actually read what's posted. If you really want to grab the reader's attention, give them something unique, clever and surprising. Read through a few dozen of the poems here in the lower half, note the recurring themes/phrases/words and avoid them at all costs. I'm not joking - count how many other pieces contain 'tears', 'loneliness', 'heart', 'pain', 'hurt' and 'fear'. You'll see what I mean; after reading a few they all start to blend into one and aren't interesting. Or if you don't want to read through all those poems, read the definition of 'pimple poem' given on the ranker. I hope this is ultimately of some use to you with your writing.

I wish I could figure this out. It sounds like it might be interesting.

It's nice you put this in the mother's mind - hopeing her sons will return safe and hoping they will not kill unnecessarily. Computerized killing to the backdrop or "killing music" - a tactic that gets a soldier through the day, gets the job done, and him - emotionally uninvolved. A good take on it.

One of many Bush-war-slams these days. The unusual thing about this one is "chemical weapons." Just how do you mean that?

I like the straightforward, no nonsense, presentation. While some may complain of poetic negligence, sincerity is there. For that I’d give a 10. But since the poetry, for what little poetic excellence is really worth, is worth only a 5 in my opinion, have an 8. And enjoy your son.