Oh, how I laughed. I thought it was only the British who were allowed this sort of humour.

Not bad, as shit poems go. ;-) And we are, after all, the Shittiest Poetry Site on the Web (more float per inch!) (TM). Of course, nothing can match the vigor and explosive power of the -=DA-=PI classic, _Child of My Buttocks_: http://www.poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=20331.

Holy shit!

It sounds like you have a crush on someone then you say "after this poem, hopefully everything will fall through" which to me means you're not into this burgoning relationship afterall. Is my head destined to be done in daily?

Spot on. Sounds like a classic case of teen angst to me. Or even 40's angst if I'm with you. She want's to but she won't let herself because of hindering beliefs she doesnt yet understand or is too stubborn to accept. The ground is fertile for growth. The time is nigh for revelation. Your poem shows a definite direction for action, if she only accepted it. Sensational.

I think I've figured this one out, dvincent. Correct me if I'm wrong, but you're taking the piss big time, aren't you?

I'm a freak too! Here's cheers!

Oh, I must have missed this when it was posted. Nice, stanzas 2 and 3 especially. Could do with working on the stresses a bit.

If I remember rightly, I quite liked the original. Decent enough edit, although I can never quite be sure whether you're religious or not.

Genius title.

Greek philosopher?

Argh! The curse of the "'n" strikes again! I know, I know, I'm a Queen's English snob, I'll get over it one day... Anyway, I quite liked the story but struggled to get the beat to it. ecargo's better at this than me, but I do think it wants reworking, or maybe just reclassifying. Done as prose it would seem very akin to the monologue introduction to a character story (does need to be spoken though). Decent enough, let me know if you do any edits of this; I'd be interested to read :-)

Agreed with richa, order it 3,4,1,2. This is legendary :-)

this was crazy jon

first stanza is super. second is pointlessly gratuitous, especially the self-mention.

Too true. Our actions speak louder than words, or poems. Of course, we're right and they're wrong. That will be $100 for the consultation, thank you very much. Fare Price (Revised) reminds me of the folly of serving two masters. I like it.

Except for the spliff reference my mum would so identify with this one. But like you I don't like the barley and runny rhyme. And is evented supposed to be invented? Where is the spell checker? Or am I being a... git?

All very herbal, I must say. Everything can be charachterised by dichotomy. Though I don't yet understand the last line. I have guides, none of them time. Perhaps concieved by the greatest champion, yet it's left to us mere mortals to merely percieve the conceived. Therein lies our biggest mistake. But isn't this sandpit fantastic?

Another poem about fucking or breastfeeding. The line "Your scales are brittle warm with light" does my head in. Hence my chosen incomprehension. Was this the result sought after? I'm not complaining, just interested. Goal achieved, no doubt. The verse numbering is helpfull.

Dear Sweet Edna, "Hilarious. I laughed till I urinated." Does that mean you pissed yourself laughing at the poem or you laughed at the poem till you had to go take a piss? Big difference. Not entirely sure what you mean. Bullshit. I know exactly what you mean. You're being a funny bastard. Aren't you?