This isn't bad, from a poetic point of view. Nice wording, decent imagery...It's boring and been done to death, and your indentions are driving me insane, but it's not a bad write.

yes, rockmage is winning. glad you're above it all -9-

I don't think this is bad at all. I'll give my score based on your voting system, though. <shrug>

Archaic, not an original thought or concept in sight. Totally terrible. I shat myself reading it.

Dreary, longwinded, pompous, derivative tripe.

One of your better attempts, among your many assorted personages here.

Go back down to whichever gutter you sprung from.

Good to see you back, Mr. Mage.

I was amused at your author's biog. I quote: "I enjoy new writing challenges and rspond to critique in two ways,posotive criticism where the person has expressed a way to improve the poem or a suggestion in the same vein i am happy to accept and send thanks, stupid rude unecessary comments i respond with venom! I enjoy writing to other poets and reading their work which i belive is a helpful way to improve my own writing and try different disciplines in poetry writing." I am delighted to meet someone whose spelling is second only to his inability to write poetry. 0/10.

I was pleased when I finished reading this. Pleased there was no more. Don't give up the day job.

Delightful. I shall put you on my faves. Come and read my own writings to see some real class.

Pretentious tripe. I can imagine why you have preferred to remain anonymous.

Piddling is just what this is.

I love a juicy pussy.

Fabbo.

Som of this is good (1/2 the second stanza the third stanza except for the Angel in black line), Don't really like the rest and the 1st stanza is terrible, I think.

long-winded in the last third. Thank you for not creating a darts/farts rhyme. Fixing the last three stanzas will earn you a vote.

I'm sure you'll take this as me just being mean, but I'm just giving my assessment. This is just a simple little thing that you'd doodle in your trapper keeper during study hall....Not what you post for review and criticism....even here... If you REALLY like to write and want to get better...read some poetry and learn to use imagery and detail and try writing something that's not the lovelorn ramblings of bored student. You're going to get made fun of posting things like this. I don't mean to quit writing entirely...I don't think that anyone should do that...just work on it before you post it. Cheers.

Since you're just going to get mad at whatever I say, I'll refrain from critiquing or voting on this. sound good?

No idea what you're on about old bean, but I'll give you a ten anyway.