wasn't this poem the inspiration for 15 seconds of a 1970s sitcom?

you are an evil piece of s*** who obviously knows it too. go ahead, spread your poison because you think you're anonymous. it's actually a decent poem - but you being a hateful asshole makes me feel sorry for you. so i'll give you the nothing you are and want.

Yes, again! Another toast, another round. Ain't it fun? lol

I'm a Scot and I'm a black, Bought to Scotland in a sack, I told them all I would'e go back, To my home in a Iraq, Even though Scotland is even more cack, It has something that Iraq does lack, A bountiful supply of excellent smack.

Some pretty lines here...I just don't know what the hell you're talking about. It doesn't seem to work for me as a whole...needs to be more cohesive instead of just a bunch of pretty lines pieced together into the shape of a poem.

I just threw up a little bit into my mouth.

I like the first one better. It would get an 8.

okay.

I've seen some good stuff you've written. THis is not one of 'em. You know how to write..you're better than this.

I think this could be much better shortened a bit...take some unnecessary words out...for example: We said sayonara to Hiroshima And hello to the green diamond rivers of Vietnam And we walked upright Where the ones before us crawled on bellies Western snakes in the grass We were delighted by rain Finding it absolutely perfect (Once the dried blood was ignored) We sat in cafe's where dancing girls came Touching guns smilingly Their husbands silent at home Or dead, silent in the land of green ...and punctuate...damn that's irritating. Gimme a semicolon or something. This could be good with a little more tweaking. Less is more. Play with wordings and take out things you don't need...

Your problem D, is that you write too much. I've come to believe that a poem every 2 days is too much. The people that are decent writers on here need to learn to edit themselves and not post everything we write becasue it ends up getting old and jumbled and we tend to repeat ourselves....Not that this is bad, but I bet you could write a really great thing if you saved up and all that.

meh...I got through half of it. Just didn't really hold my attention...the half that I read was...I don't know..punctuationless...I need some punctuation. Holding the vote for now.

Okay, this is solid...doesn't give me wood or anything, but it's solid. Please lose the funky indentation though.

I was going to give you a critique but I see from comments below that you're content in your mediocrity and therfore, I leave you to your own devices, sir.

MUCH better than the one I just read of yours.

That intdentation makes me want to tear my face off. This is not...good, but I can see some strengths in you. I wondere how old you are. If you're in your teens, you're on pace and could be good with work....if you're in you 30's...quit now.

What's with the stuttering? That needs to go...You're a tool? a wrench? I don't get it...

Brilliant. The Huntsman trilogy is now the most whimsical jape of this or any other season!

I love that people are taking themselves so seriously. I haven't been commenting at all because I've just been using this site as an archive, but damn! Is there something going around running up peoples' asses or what? I absolutely love the sarcasm and the synthetic wit. I flaunt my vocabulary as much as the next person, but hey! Nobody talks like this. Good luck on all future ventures you guys, and I hope you'll find someone to give you that hug you so desperately need. P.S. Best poem I've ever read. *5*

Good to have you back, I suppose there aren't any henges or solstices that want druids at this time of year and the trade in carved plywood mongoose does generally die on its arse after Christmas so you are using your only other method of spreading your hair and posturings through your son's website. Well as I opened so I close nice to have you back.