not bad, alverland

Cute.

Points of possible confusion: (1) Doggerel is bad verse. (2) halon doesn't fission easily; fission is a nuclear process. (3) elision is a technical word for slurring.

Like it, especially the refreshing rhymes in the first verse

the line pattern would probably make more sense if this poem was about diziness.

Hilarious and magical.

I love that "peace guy". Yeah, tell your friend to take his knife-bearing self back to Old Miss. Change that second to last line to say "talking to himself aloud" (or out loud, but without a dash). I think the last line is a little confusing, just say "as I pass him on the street" or something. Are you talking about that hallucinating man with the greasy hair and blue bandana?

I like your last 2 lines, especially. Nice job.

What, I wonder, would a necrophyliac consider dangerous? No shovel and buck teeth while strolling through a pet cemetery.

A spine tingling tale of alchemy and beakerdom.

Well played. This poem made me think: There is the classical approach where fine physique and its attainment are considered virtues - the work itself and the struggle are not masochism but something to be enjoyed. Then there is the reluctant, desperate, reactionary, and poisonous pursuit of perfection that our society is seen to espouse. What allowed the ancients to pursue this in a completely healthy way while it eats away at us? Or maybe they felt just as lacking as we do, and it is only historians, who seeing images of physical beauty, ascribe to them a sublime sense of the aesthetics of athleticism.

Sometimes more IS better. I liked the 1st version, but this was worth the effort. yes.

I think your caps should be in the middle of line three, giving it somewhat of an arc. Like a small girl grossed out and sqealing. funny funny funny.

Dave, This is truely......well...a mystery! But you did expend effort to type all the letters..so please accept a heartfelt 1.

How many years have we been on this planet? And we've still learned nothing. still doing the same ol' same ol'. What's taking Jesu so damned long? Held up in a fast food line no doubt. Maybe just... held up?

You should write horror films. This scared me.

Is this about a bar-maid you've encountered while "INTRANSIT"? I like -8-

I find a cap gun a safe alternative.

Your poems have revolutionised the concept of boredom.

wow, what a freaking literary genious you are.