and isn't humble enough to cast a shadow, but he can cast a Brontosaurus bone.

I feel totally yuck. And it is all your fault. 23

mmm

See how this, in an unforced way, goes from small, to large to small again? The structure matches the content - I like that, and I like the poem.

LoL, Bachus (baba/jeremi/horus/shardik) - not too bad! I get a kick out of the Mon- /-day line why not just end it with "[something something ...sun"? then you can stretch the charlie horse line with something (you can do it). On second thought - keep it, it adds something. Extra points for formed verse.

You (titan69) certainly show more commitment than the wrighter. At least to that persons poem. Consider posting one of your own?

I am on my feet, applauding + shouting bravo. A standing-O for El Negro Garcia. I am printing this and sticking it to the fridge with my Farmer's Insurance Agent's promo magnet. Thank you. The use of the names to bring these disasters close to the bone is simply a stroke(get it? 'stroke')of genius. Here is proof positive that art is our most resiliant asset.

Torture and bliss. 24.33333

Hard to follow. How does the row's shadow 'lay tight a bed-spring'/ What does that mean, exactly? And 'out to in...the visiting guest only' boggles my simple mind. My brainsky's all amuddle.

He never bloody shuts up

"and now, a cunt solo." Maybe we should start renaming the current instruments.

you get a ten for the Corey Feldman alone.

That longest second stanza is interesting but needs reworking, the rest should be thrown-out. Stick to the middle bit.

This would be ok if you made things clearer. for example, 'diamonds dangling...' what's that symbolize? Also the last two lines, what does that mean?

Very nice - Dennis Leary would be proud, you HWMF. Kill Bill roxors.

wonderful images, lovingly applied language - I am critless. yanks and bedlam in one poem; an interesting coincidence.

i think loose "-the city" and put a suitable modifier on "compost" (like "urban" or sumfin'). other than that, and the contradiction between being eager to offend and pursuing a hindu or buddhist way - not to shabby. Massive points for the flowing "home-made mandala Wallpaper"

Very good counter point to mine. It took me a couple of reads. You have a way with words! Except them there things found in the box? Not that the words are excepted, just perplexing. 24.3786

You have a creepy kind of foreboding tone, which, whether intentional or not, i savour.

Mmm. tangible wistfulness.