Man I'd hate to be trailer trash.

Like Bruce Lee jumping out of a cherry blossom.

nice

I've been reminded of my bathtub submarine. Not bad, though as a lyric- I think it would sound odd being sung. Course, I don't know shit about lyrics and how they would fit into music, so let that be known. Blessed with 8.

Hrmm. well, its choppy flow suits it.. but that second gaze.. Perhaps phase? ;/ oi. Well, I'm known to braze- but today I flicker and smoke. Its very raw stuff, good though; it has room to form itself, and even change colors like a cameleon. I'll save my vote for now, second and third looks will probly change my outlook on it. much fun to be had with this piece.

It would be better called "out with the cape" and be about a man in love with his cape, or better yet, someone else's cape.

Glue the pile? To your face.

wow. that was really good. i liked it alot.

Entirely too unreadable.

beautiful funny nonsense. and what of your screen play? my hooven brother.

Well, They seem to say the same thing, one and two. Save two for something else. The animals don't strike quite the chord themusical terms do.

yes , and how does one get bad poets to stop writing? kill them? help them? write about them? what would martini and rossi say about this?

Catchy character names, to be sure, and it should do well on www.proseranker.com.

reminds me of DA's "Gilded Stumps of Olde" but less of the baffle humor.. well, cmon now- its hard to beat stuff like: "beating a blindfolded slave about the pate with his left badmington racket, all the while lubricating him with a greased parson's nose." But you nearly matched that when you mentioned the turtle and rusted plumbing. should write up confrontation between Corp. Shin Shines & Captain Gaybrush Threepchoad- I'd pay to read it lol. Blessed with 8.

interesting. I have pause with this bit: "This fathom My fathom underneath " - was this intentional; the abruptness and lack of punctuation with the next line capped makes me scratch my head. the line with edible dirt has a very nice impression to it. not sure what to make of this one, but generally I'm the happier for it. have a sideways infinity (and yes, I have that line in something already) -8-

Symbolism feels political... tamarisk... sickle, wreath - was thinking Tajikistan, but no yellow. An Egyptian boat crossing is my next theory - possibly as depicted in petroglyphs found in the desert. If so, then the "...wait in the dead hours" is rather clever with "red eye". I'm gonna give this a ten, if only for myself for working through it.

Well seems u have an affinity for daydreams and eye contest with the winged variety perched atop poles. Hope the fella deprives you of its droppings. The stream of your words is grand till & after the verse ‘to this cross in time’ (mind, am not pointing fingers and saying its bad nor worse, but inferring it could be better) cause it give me pause to ponder a little of what you might have had in mind & what deviation from intent it had had. But I find no cause not to relate this with a 10. Ps, appreciate ya comments on my pieces – its critics like u I want & nothing like the friends that point a 10 & be content, as I be smiling my arse off, thinking the grand designs wrought by me hands. Just be honest & state you mind as u have in past. For it, I am & will be ever glade.

This I dedicate to my friend, Babe, who had asked me why I did not write Love poetry, whence we first met – To her in reply I now say, Love poetry sound like a dog that pee’onto the hydrant; water to the water with a little more taste. Hence something I refrain of to save the gray matter for a better use. Hope you (Babe) like My Love Letter, it just a simple mumboJumbo framed into a weaker appeal of a rhyme.

...here's your sign.....

If your comes to pass, please ring me up and ill tell you what it all means.. Till then take a freaking 10 and be gone