horus8
on Thoughts by nicole081083
24 Jan 2004, 12:13 AM
What a positive plan, you do that.
I think "thoughts" is an excellent title for a poeme! We all have thoughts, don't we? -10-
I don't understand why the moon made you into a puppet. Nor do I understand why your shadows lurched 'sheepishly'. Should it be "feet of the sea" or "foot of the sea"? You usually hear people say "at the foot of the mountain", but ne'er "at the feet of the mountain"... or is that wrong?
Thanks for the comments. The original theme would be poverty, but really extends to anything that survives under unlikely and fruitless conditions. I know i messed up in the middle, but this was a long time ago, and i pretty much just gave up.
That poem will make me feel better if I were sad, worried or upset.
Nice take on an old saw. Sure as hell hate the price of your champange!
Belch and let it out. Gets rid of the bloat.
Im just the same And in the morning im dead?
Not more shit!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry i meant zodiac (sorry for the mispelling)
The first bit board me but the last bit was well wrighten
Right now? i have my fingers in my mouth and I'm going blubblery lou blubberlou back and forth with my index against my nigger lips and shiny teeth? Can I ask you a question? Must you bring the Lilac tomb into this? I thought that was our secret place, me, you, and boyscout troop 17, fucking kiddy THuMBER!!!!! Can I just say you are a total mop, a mop, a mop, amop , a wet fucking mcdonalds mop your poetry is apile of loose fucking stool in a whores lap. LOOOSEEEE. Fuck
What a marster pease.I woke up last night and found
that i had been making love to my right hand ??
My Grandfather loved me the best,
He said, holding me close to his chest
I stayed deathly still
'till his snores sounded shrill
and I could unstick my face from his vest.
this is for zosiac: the name for that band already exist
When Granddaddy gave us a lickin'
He kept time with the hall clock's slow tickin'
It wasn't the pain
That made us insane
But so long to his stump to be stickin'
It would take at most fifteen minutes to revise this to have reasonable rhythm instead of totally fucked rhythm and to fix the broken rhyme in the last stanza. How lazy can you be?
Thank God, Grandma kept Grandpa well-trained
And all of his bad habits constrained
But it took her some time
To get him in line
And he'd long since all carpets bestained.
Don't listen to rockmage -- I think this is a really great poem! We all get lonely sometimes, don't we? 10!
I believe you have infantilism covered by now.