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Late Night Moon (Free verse) by lastobelus
We wake up And the moon has broken in our windows. We feel compelled to dance; The odd light reaches underneath us And places hooks in our limbs. We move about slowly, Our shadows lurching sheepishly On the wall. "Oh do you remember," she says, "When we ran through the park to the beach And fell laughing At the feet of the sea?"

Down the ladder: Constipation

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.0
Weighted score: 5.119203
Overall Rank: 5940
Posted: January 23, 2004 5:03 PM PST; Last modified: January 23, 2004 5:03 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 163.1.146.87 | 23-Jan-04/5:31 PM | Reply
I don't understand why the moon made you into a puppet. Nor do I understand why your shadows lurched 'sheepishly'. Should it be "feet of the sea" or "foot of the sea"? You usually hear people say "at the foot of the mountain", but ne'er "at the feet of the mountain"... or is that wrong?
[n/a] lastobelus @ 217.82.13.226 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 24-Jan-04/3:47 AM | Reply
Entertaining the possibility that these are sincere questions I will respond to them at face value: it's an old relationship, comfortable perhaps, but no longer based on romance, and this is a rare romantic moment. The narrator is rather reluctant to participate in the romantic moon cliche, tries to deny it by slandering the moon with anti-romantic descriptions, but succumbs to it in the end anyway.

foot/feet -- possibly your right but I don't think it matters and feet sounds better.
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