I liked the second verse.

And what of those whose tastes include... both snails and oysters?

.aff.e.cta.tion. It. ta.kesa.way fro..........m good/lines%like "her skirt in segregated circles" and 'turtling' down. 7 until you improve.

Mockingbird. One word. "Violent ripples flow through her nipples" makes me laugh. Do you want more?

"Watch your mouth, you slag," I said, and caught her with a right-hook. She fell to the ground in an instant. I kicked her in the kidneys. -10-

Once again I admire your ability to construct naturally flowing inversion-free rhyming lines. well I suppose there is one inversion, but it seems totally natural. I find myself wanting to know something about the reason for the long ice season... This has just a hint of "O western wind..." about it. Was that a source of inspiration at all? What if you made an explicit reference...would it add or just be trite?

Good, a few nits. Lines 4-9 seem choppy compared to the rest. I am not sure carrying on a sentence on the next line when you have just rhymes drunk with sunk works. For me the sunk rhyme stops the piece before the new line.

Fine as far as it goes. The best haikus though are nature ones which portray a bond between images. There is no image here just abstract.

So true.

As sun is the same colour of jaundice, it is unlikely to take it away, just a thought. The hand around finger bit at the start is a nice touch to tell the reader you are talking about a baby. good

If you remove the pointless gaps and the arbitrary line breaks, you end up with the following sentence: "I wish I was part of the in crowd." And that's not a poem; it's just a moronic sentiment. Well done! -10-

Does not quite do it.

Very good boy and his dog tale.

Never before has the arbitrary indentation been wielded with such senseless aplomb. -10-

Absurdly lewd. -no vote-

'And sometimes when you turn really fast in a circle you look happier' -- is this poeme about your dog?

For fuck's sake, when are you going to stop torturing us with your bizarre attempts at 'wisdom'? Oxymoronic Quote Of The Day: "Victory is found not in triumph" -- SupremeDreamer

TITLE SUGGESTIONS 1. SupremeDreamer is Astonishingly Dim-Witted 2. SupremeDreamer is Amazingly Thick 3. SupremeDreamer is a Mega-Dunce Blessed with 10, you shit stain!!!!!!!11

1. It's like ray-ee-ayn on your wedding day. 2. It's a free righ-ee-ide when you've already paid. 3. It's also like 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife.

This is almost as good as the poetry of Crystal Lane Shit!!!!111 -10-