fevriere
on Ring Toss by Shin-Bojangles
29 Feb 2004, 7:17 AM
Rockin.
shocking, actually.
works for me.
cute
stammer stutter flip flop hey, that is not what I meant to say.
Thank you both for your insight. I agree with what you say, Shuushin. Thank you for the chuckle, Rockmage. These little "word babies" take on someone's character as I write. I'll never know whose. They grow up and then leave home via internet postings. I wish them well, but they had better not come back to me looking for a place to stay between bad relationships. I did my job. Now it's up them to stand or fail. So, Good luck, my children!
brilliantly pieced together from bits of sound, thought, pictures, words and whole lives given in one instance over the phone, over a misunderstanding which begain in a safeway and ended with the presence of angels.
You didn't like the kitten?? What was wrong with the cute kitty?
hey, not bad. not bad at all.
although the illustrations are very interesting, I lost you at the last paragraph...but then again maybe I didn't...haha..
Liked the first half but "steel cubes" lost my interest. And the ending - must every poemranker poet discuss piss, shit or paedophilia in every goddamn poem? I can't take this vulgarity much longer. *le "tired artist" sigh*
I have a theological question for you, smlink84: Do angels have wings?
-;-
The last line should be dropped. -10-
This is a textbook of overused rhymes - places/faces, night/fight, hours/flowers, eyes/lies, walking/talking, crying/lying, pain/insane, and so on. That's not your fault though, and it'll take care of itself as you read more poetry.
Sewing your friends back onto you was a really great imgae and caught me off-guard. I don't know if that's a common phrase, but I've never heard it before. If it's an original, then bravo.
This poem disgusts me. It probably excites you. That's the difference between a Californian hippy sculptor and an English Gentleman.
Fabulous.
cabin fever hey hey hey
Delicious! I'll have mine without the wasabi.