i don't think that "passed" should have its own line... it's not an action word like "interact." otherwise i like it, last line and all

each time i read it i'm liking it better... the sign of a good poem

i like how the lines got shorter and shorter, but if you were going to lengthen the end lines it may carry more impact if only the last line is affected. other than that it was enjoyable, though not stellar.

this is one of the more confusing dialogues i've read lately...

kind of lame that someone (?) had to go to a bunch of computers at a computer station and "anonymously" vote 10 (check the IP addresses, they're all sharing a port). i feel obligated to give a zero as a balancing force.

poems are not a good medium for political views... at least in my humble opinion...

what happened to 5-7-5? 4-7-6 is new to me...

please don't use IM language in poetry... "ur" made me cringe

actually, Mezcal has the worm in it, not Tequila. other than that i enjoyed the poem until the last two lines, which came as a sudden shift. i don't mind a quick twist, but i liked where the poem was going rather than where it ended up.

this seems to make a political statement... but what? "free speech isn't free" seems to point towards war, but then it's forgotten. the first five lines all point towards a political idea. perhaps the title could reflect that? or maybe you had no political motive, and i just read into it too much...

I'm agreeing with H; if the whole story comes out, the quality goes way up. I like it, and I see where it's going... I just want to read how it ends.

rather depressing at the end there

I'm assuming that you've read "I, Robot." The poem reminded me of it; if you haven't read it, definitely pick it up. Isaac Asimov picks up that question and a whole slew of others. As for the poem itself, I like how in four short lines you address two key issues: AI and slavery. Well done.

all my critiques were previously stated by others. i will simply state that i enjoyed it.

while brevity is a necessity on a website where we have no patience to read a poem but can spend hours arguing over petty differences of opinion, i think that this could be the start of something much longer. you take in very broad ideas and touch on several issues deserving several stanzas. i think that you should consider expanding this into something more epic.

i agree with hypatia... too much telling, perhaps not enough showing or representing. cutting it down some could greatly improve it, but a solid start ;-)

i made the mistake of viewing all the comments before voting... my opinion has been marred. after reading it a second (and a third) time, 9

i'm not sure where "electrolytes" fits in beyond flowing via syllables and assonance... that is, the meaning of the word. beyond my nit-pickyness, well put together.

i feel like i already voted on this... did you modify the poem? maybe it was my imagination.

a little too repetitive through S4, and yes, i know that was the point. also, i don't think that "pimple" would be correct for this poem. it would have popped the pimple category. <<break for laughter>> i know, i know, i'm so witty...