Re: Not in front of the kids. by darby pyn	9-Sep-02/11:58 PM
The title overused and makes me start a song in my head before I even start the poem. I like the style; you used it in the other poem, but I have the same feelings. I can see you ticking away, but I do like this one better than the other.
Re: non ars poetica by genezapoetica	9-Sep-02/11:53 PM
Good idead lost in odd style.
Re: Waking Up by PawnedTidal	9-Sep-02/11:52 PM
This is teen angst rubbish! When you leave mommy and daddy, you can sleep all day if you like. Fuck the world, YEAH!!!! I am the anti-chirst, cuz I wanna be anarchy....and so on.
Re: untitled#3 by darby pyn	9-Sep-02/11:48 PM
I do not like this, so listen to GW. It is so well done (as in over cooked) that I can almost hear you trying to be clever. I want the words to come effortless; these seem forced and contrived. And add an apostrophe to your.
Re: a comment on Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/11:31 PM
Not to be REPELLANT, but what kind of gun was this - could see kitchen through hole, but I guess the RR is referring to other things and not the actual act of the game, which is played with a revoler and most likely wouldn't make that kind of hole...well. I kind of like the idea of someone playing RR knowing the whole time they are going to play to lose. I don't know, you are describing an act from you view of a story from someone else and I kind of want to know the five knocks that pushed him to it. But that is another poem I guess. I also think the "mess" gives a clear image and "just the blood" goes overboard, but I suppose you are shooting for the double purpose, I am just not sure I like it.
Re: A Well Worth Wait by savannah	9-Sep-02/10:48 PM
Hey you and BARBIE have the same exact ending. And even have ?????????? all over the place. Oh well, can never say it enough: ???????I LOVE YOU TOO?????
Re: I Love You!! by Babieflirt	9-Sep-02/10:47 PM
?????????I LOVE YOU TOO??????
Re: a comment on Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/10:44 PM
Although irritable, edgy and, of course, opinionated by nature I am simply repellent so people will read my work. When I post something people read it 1) because it is good and 2) because I piss them off and they want to hate my work but cannot because it is too damn good.
Re: Lonely Night by faded	9-Sep-02/10:08 PM
I just hear the flipping Brian or Bryan Adams song in my head, "Baby, I just can't stand another lonely night, so come over and save me...." and on and on. Plus, this poem is full of tender hearted cliches.
Re: Russian Roulette by <~>	9-Sep-02/10:01 PM
You just changed the style of this. Last time it came up, I set it aside because of the style, so wise choice in the change. You used laugh in some form 5 times and crack 3 times - is it intended repetition? Third stanza is excellent, but I have trouble with the second and the poem seems to drag along at times to the end. Seems you mixed some moving and downright fine images, with "just getting it all out on paper." Take the comma from behind "left." I think it has more power without any pause and it creates a nice image. Just a thought. I don't know, I like the poem overall, (it is not a triangle) but it could use some tightening, especially in the 4th stanza.
Re: My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus	9-Sep-02/6:02 PM
Plus, a good number of Basho's (the main man) haikus were nowhere close to 5/7/5, but they were all under 17 syllables.
Re: My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus	9-Sep-02/5:56 PM
Not necessiarily. from tinywords.com Haiku are extremely short poems written in 17 syllables or fewer, often (but not necessarily) arranged in three lines of 5, 7, and 5 syllables each. Haiku make use of concrete imagery or sensations, not abstractions or metaphors, and are often (though not always) concerned with the natural world. In our view, haiku should point to an actual, lived experience and, in so doing, evoke deep feelings in the reader. As haiku poet and author William Higginson writes, "The central act of haiku is letting an object or event touch us, and then sharing it with another."
Re: Water Droplet by craiggiarc1971	7-Sep-02/3:33 PM
Is this s kid's poem?
Re: Sunshine by alexander	7-Sep-02/3:10 PM
I don't know? You told me about voting on your own poems. So maybe you have all the insight there. And maybe I'm off base, but when he is around, like this morning, certain poems in certain places always get zeros with know reasoning behind it. I do not mind a zero, but do not hide under a blanket. Tell me why. If he were to speak, he would merely say: it is to get his work higher. Not that this is a contest, but I just like to bitch. Or have you noticed.
Re: Sunshine by alexander	7-Sep-02/3:09 PM
I don't know? You told me about voting on your own poems. So maybe you have all the insight there. And maybe I'm off base, but when he is around, like this morning, certain poems in certain places always get zeros with know reasoning behind it. I do not mind a zero, but do not hide under a blanket. Tell me why. If he were to speak, he would merely say: it is to get his work higher. Not that this is a contest, but I just like to bitch. Or have you noticed.
Re: Sunshine by alexander	7-Sep-02/3:00 PM
I am kidding with you Beaker. But not with this God sort. He knows what he is doing.
Re: Mean Matt was so mean, when a homeless guy asked him for change he gave him a -blank- by beakism	7-Sep-02/2:57 PM
What the hell is that: a nail, a penis or a rocket. Or do you leave it open to interpretation?
Re: Sunshine by alexander	7-Sep-02/2:55 PM
Look here you jealous peon, before you go into a poor poets list of work and give it all zeros so it falls from grace and of course, with all your petty user names, heighten your own stature, explain the reasoning behind your dislike to give something a 0. Come out from under your covers you measly writer of rubbish: ben/god/alex. Your work does not belong at that level. Hell, it cannot even stand up against mine. I am on to you, thanks to the Beaker, you foolish boy. Of course, you could be the Beaker.
Re: More 7-Eleven holdups. by Bachus	6-Sep-02/8:21 PM
Ha! Clever and funny. Your ID self is improving.
Re: i spin you like a top by silvertongueddevil	6-Sep-02/10:46 AM
Excellent poem. Check this one out Beaker. A young and sober Bukowski. Influences showing right through, eh? What a first image.