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Waking Up (Free verse) by PawnedTidal Who the fuck are you
To try and tell me what to do?
I'll find someone new
And hope to hell they're nothing like you.
You pulled the wool over my eyes.
But put away your disguise
Cause I'm hip to your lies.
I won't let you be my demise.
Unspoken anger has grown
Into rage like I've never known.
I cherish the day when you're gone,
And I reclaim my life as my own.
You didn't see
What you had with me.
So take your fucking apathy
And stay the hell away from me.
Up the ladder:
Guitar Lesson
Down the ladder:
Smaller
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.263158
Posted: September 9, 2002 8:37 PM PDT; Last modified: September 9, 2002 8:37 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.2981033 Overall Rank: 13132 Comments:
[7]
<~> @ 24.44.185.41
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9-Sep-02/10:14 PM
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Reply
this one's growing on me...
This is teen angst rubbish! When you leave mommy and daddy, you can sleep all day if you like. Fuck the world, YEAH!!!! I am the anti-chirst, cuz I wanna be anarchy....and so on.
To be fair, I don't thinkt his poem has anything to do with parents
This isn't about parents, I am certainly no teen, and I think you are confusing angst with anger. Since when is being a little angry a bad thing? A zero, knowit? That's cold.
I never said it was about parents and I did not give you a 0. But if you are going to write an angry poem you could get the point across in much better fashion without using the profanity, which don't get me wrong, certainly has a place in writing - just ask David Mamet. But the sentiment becomes nothing but rambling, which ultimately comes crashing down as another teen angst poem. Geez, you even use the word anger in the poem.
Anger management. In written form. Healthy choice, PT
i'm hip to your lies is a great line.
NO
You can definitely feel what you wrote. It's quite comprehensible to a general audience. Easy for people to relate yet very passionate. keep up the good work
change the last fucking to motherfucking, it'll help the rythm.
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