DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Not in front of the kids.

Member since 2002 · Posted 8 Sep 2002 · Edited 15 Sep 2002 · 8 comments

Sweating under her flashlight eyes. in suspicion, stuck in a stare. interrogation by breakfast light who, what, and where. competing for the last word the best excuse. serving a volley of condemnation with no pause. slurring excited animation contorted expression. tones raised. spite and memories equipped like armor. exchanging past indiscretions. breaking glass, breaking doors, breaking vows. louder and louder the decibels pierce. stabbing criticism uproot insecurity and weaken defenses. louder still the voices mesh as one. losing verse becoming form. shades of black and red swell in the space between murder and restraint. the walls cave in the world looks in. louder and louder and louder.

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8 comments

[4] poetandknowit 9-Sep-02/11:58 PM Reply

The title overused and makes me start a song in my head before I even start the poem. I like the style; you used it in the other poem, but I have the same feelings. I can see you ticking away, but I do like this one better than the other.

[5] royalflesh 11-Sep-02/7:31 PM Reply

there are some matters that need clarity in this piece. Try to break it up to make the read more lively.

[5] Limness 12-Sep-02/8:01 AM Reply

Do you really want everyone to get stuck at the title? If not, I suggest you change it.

[n/a] darby pyn › Limness 12-Sep-02/3:06 PM Reply

good point. I forgot about that song. I should have called it
" Not in front of the kids". as in pool I shoot too quick
before thinking.

[n/a] nentwined › darby pyn 16-Sep-02/1:38 AM Reply

and now I'm curious what it was called before you retitled it, with all this discussion...

[n/a] darby pyn › nentwined 19-Sep-02/12:41 AM Reply

" Whisper to a scream". I forgot about that damn song.

[7] horus8 20-Sep-02/12:37 AM Reply

you used condemnation...i like depeche mode..you win..

[9] deleted user 21-Sep-02/5:58 PM Reply

I like the streaming style of this rant, it reflects the anger that the subject projects. I wonder if it needs punctuation at all- interesting poetic exercise