Re: The Messenger (The Unreplaceable And Greatly Missed Mr. Mercury) by anagram |
16-Aug-02/8:45 PM |
I realize this is first grading, and the sentiment is quite "nice", but so are the trite thought of the emoting teenagers on the site and this poem is about at that level.
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Re: Wondering by anagram |
16-Aug-02/8:58 PM |
Looking at poetry only as "true poetry that rhymes" seems to narrow the scope.
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Re: The Messenger (The Unreplaceable And Greatly Missed Mr. Mercury) by anagram |
16-Aug-02/9:08 PM |
Do you have an affront against criticism? I am not making a personal attack like many on this site Frass. You are all beautiful people. If you do not want anything said about a poem, don't post it. So, I am sorry I cannot sugar coat everything or follow the writer of triangle and cello poems all over the site ogling. I just try to call it like I see it.Freddie Mercury was great and writing a poem expressing that, no matter how sentimental, is a "nice" gesture. But just because you do a sweet tribute does not make it a good poem.
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Re: The Messenger (The Unreplaceable And Greatly Missed Mr. Mercury) by anagram |
16-Aug-02/9:20 PM |
Hey , well I guess you were at this poem first, but I cannot control the random file. Plus, I cannot figure who is who anymore (maybe it is this air in Colorado - what say you Venus, how do you breathe here). I miss Misery. Hours8, D.A., you, Doylum -- isn't it all the same.
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Re: Selective Alopecia by Ming T. Merciless |
17-Aug-02/9:49 AM |
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Re: ''*Night*'' by youngweirdo |
17-Aug-02/9:53 AM |
Is it yet another identity? This time assuming the fair skin of a pubescent. If not, I am only six and my father say that I write better than you.
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Re: The Messenger (The Unreplaceable And Greatly Missed Mr. Mercury) by anagram |
17-Aug-02/9:56 AM |
Venus, I must go home, actually I am today after taking a look at them big hills you have. I was hanging out with your ex-gov (romer) last night and the new cancer stricken one. Poor fella. But he is a Republican. Cocktail parties make me dizzy.
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Re: Selective Alopecia by Ming T. Merciless |
17-Aug-02/10:55 AM |
I thought it was pb and otter. And how the fuck do I know what you do when you Noodle dance. You are a true master of mystique. A spoken word genius, although I am not much of a fan of the spoken word types. Too much performance art becomes simply too much performance of low-grade talent trying to be excessively deep. I try to stick to the poetry angle. And it seems to work.
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Re: Selective Alopecia by Ming T. Merciless |
17-Aug-02/12:53 PM |
Finally, some of your crap comes through in the random file. Now I see why Cake and Sugar Ray jump at the chance to purchase your profound lyrics. So clever, so Hollywood, so full of advertisements. Were you paid for adding those in? And for your other rant, what's wrong with listening to an 87-year-old monotone if they can write? Has California warped you brain, made you to hip and shiny. Granted poetry is better heard aloud. Just listen to Mr. Hughes and you can understand that. In addition, while some slams promote ranting and raving, and the extemporaneous works are always fun, these poets of the Rollins class, which you seem to belong in, usually go down quite early. Just check out results from last year's Taos Poetry Circus. Why? Because they suck. A slam is just another means for a real poet like myself to make a mockery of people like you who put words together because they sound good, not because they mean anything. Come on, sir, you are a trite figure (I looked at the website) who has to surround his writings with fast edits and flash because the words have nothing worthwhile to say.
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Re: Selective Alopecia by Ming T. Merciless |
17-Aug-02/1:58 PM |
Yes, I thought you went surfing. Isn't that what all you Utopia of Clowns hipsters do? Me, I am stuck in the Denver airport waiting to get back to KC Misery. Or Topeka, as you like to mix geography. I have a rodeo to attend tonight. Afterwards I am lecturing the cowboys on the art of the slam. Some of the cowboy poets want to try to see if the can possibly rant and rave for 8 seconds. After follow around the LA superintendent of schools for the past two weeks it will be good to get home so I can look at all my trophies. I miss them all. As for pointers, I will give them at will when your poems come to me at random. I do not have time to search them all out. I am sorry, son, you are on your own. I can only be a mentor to so many.
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Re: Just Another Day by dougsoderstrom |
17-Aug-02/2:07 PM |
Good rewrite, now the 1st stanza connects to the rest of the poem.
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Re: I SHALL NOT by pitchblackdisaster |
17-Aug-02/2:16 PM |
Do flames really burn beneath a fire or are the fire itself? Shouldn't this poem be called: I have a pimple, what to do, if I pop it, it will spew. All over the walls, all over the floor, and if it is a big one I just might hit the door. And don't listen to blake. His poetry also has acne.
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Re: Black Buns by Bachus |
18-Aug-02/8:47 PM |
Bachus8, form the looks of it you are having a bad day or possibly something upon the lines of an epiphany.
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Re: Arachnid by quantumenterprises |
18-Aug-02/9:48 PM |
Good for the spider, but all that work for a lousy fly! Ugh!
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Re: Snow by no9schmack |
18-Aug-02/9:53 PM |
Get rid of the typos. Some of the language is trite.
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Re: Reflected, Dreamed by Frass |
18-Aug-02/9:56 PM |
Huh? you spent the rent on freshly cut crack? But then again lots of lawn mowing imagery. Wow! Excellent work!!
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Re: liquid love by http://fenechia.com |
18-Aug-02/10:10 PM |
hahaha!!! Did your parents drop you off at the mall for this date? I cried when I read this; I really did. It touched me in ways that I cannot even explain.
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Re: Reflected, Dreamed by Frass |
18-Aug-02/10:13 PM |
My favorite Thomas poems are his B-day poems. I like to read those in the state he was always in. Did I mention that the above poem is brillant!
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Re: caught in the dark by http://fenechia.com |
18-Aug-02/10:17 PM |
Oh, this is deep. Lights on. Light off. Do you really know who the person that you inhabit might be? Are we all just robots? Light on! Light off! Why do we sit as if we are in closets and not actually in closets? Lights on! Light off! Who are we but a mere freckle that can spell at the level of a third grader?
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Re: Intense Irrational Realities by Venus |
18-Aug-02/10:21 PM |
All I want to know is can I watch?
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