Snow

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 Aug 2002 · Edited 19 Aug 2002 · 3 comments

I pass by and notice the white tops The faithful wind blowing you into place Where will you land? Shall it be a tree branch, A bush, or maybe just the ground. I stand looking out a window Wanting to be moistened By your ever sweet innocence and caring nature But just as you came from the sky Falling impatiently down. I am unable to be there, Whether it be me, or whether it be you Unable to come to me. We meet not. My desire to be with you increases. As your appearance builds up around me Unable to play in your beauty For just as I go to sleep seeing you there By morning you will have passed. Never have I a chance to embrace Your sweet cool love nor to Feel the texture of your heart. For at the end I can say I am thankful To have seen you through the window

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mean 3.00 weighted 4.46 rank 12856 views 145 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

3 comments

[2] poetandknowit 18-Aug-02/9:53 PM Reply

Get rid of the typos. Some of the language is trite.

[n/a] no9schmack 19-Aug-02/7:57 AM Reply

Thanks. Done

[6] Tarquin De La Bog 19-Aug-02/2:02 PM Reply

Very average. 6. It's actually written rather well in my opinion, but I think that the major problem is the subject matter; I don't think anybody could write a love poem about snow without the overriding smell of naffness and cheese rising through the house.