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''*Night*'' (Free verse) by youngweirdo The wind is cold,but the air is hot,
A mist seeps down and sweeps people up.
The night has came,
The moon is clear,
The sky is dark beneath the fear.
I hear a voice inside my dream,
Its saying things which make me scream,
They make me tremble,
My body and soul.
And its all in the night,
When the wind is cold.
Up the ladder:
If
Down the ladder:
e-mail from a friend
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 3.2222223
Posted: August 17, 2002 8:59 AM PDT; Last modified: August 17, 2002 8:59 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.111111 Overall Rank: 13306 Comments:
[4]
<~> @ 167.206.181.179
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17-Aug-02/9:16 AM
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Reply
twinkle twinkle little "*Night*"/how you fill me with such fright/air is hot but wind is cold/rhymes are obvious, subject, old/writer of "*Night*" please try again/ this time don't consult your friends.
Is it yet another identity? This time assuming the fair skin of a pubescent. If not, I am only six and my father say that I write better than you.
and it's all in the night,Can my scrotum fold?nut sac oragamy is the sport of the future..
Young? Perhaps. Talented? I think not. A wierdo? Most assuredly. My good chap, you should be ashamed of yourself. This is G.C.S.E. poetry at it's worst. For your crimes against the English language you should be hung, drawn and quartered - and then presented to Satan on a pewter platter to do as He will. Shocking. 1/10.
whell for your information i have not yet done my G.C.S.E'S so dont even bother to compare it to them
horus8 likes being rude doesn't he/she.
in nearly every comment he/she gives there is always rudeness so please tell me why is that? do you have some uncrontrolable disease which makes you want to think of rude things to add to nearly all your comments or sumthing?
THIS POEME IS SURE SCARY!!!!!!!!!
I am not sure what you are getting at with the ** around the title. In addition, the images you create are a bit confusing. If it is misting, how can we see the moon? The sky is dark-- you established that with the title. Has the night came, as in spent its wad? Or, is this just a misuse of language. These are just a few errors that really hurt the poem.
not evey single poem a person writes has to make sense.
so in a way this poem is a misuse of language but if you look at it in a certain way you would see that it is not meant to make sense and i dont think it ever will
oh, i get it, it's just meant to waste our time. SAY SOMETHING, DAMMIT
you do not want to heart me if i have to say something to you.
i will blow your tiny little adalecent mind and if this doesnt make any sense to you then it doesnt to me neither so there!!!!!!
what thefuck is going on none of this makes sense.
it makes as much sense as a beach with no sand or water?
I really like the last 2 lines:
"And it's all in the night/ When the wind is cold." Could not really make sense out of: "A mist seeps down and sweeps people up" 160 view(s)
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