Re: To You, In Warmer Climes by <~>	30-Jul-03/2:59 PM
I love this poem. Such a pleasure to read again on a cloudy day in Misery.
Re: Club by Beseech	30-Jul-03/3:02 PM
Love the word chitchat (I think it is one word), but the rest of the poem is rather trite. You need many more beers before you can write about bars with any meaning. Quit doing ecstasy; it is bad for you.
Re: The Longest Wait (Revised) by Caducus	30-Jul-03/3:04 PM
Jesus, I go away for a few months, come back and have to endure this shit right off the bat.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/3:08 PM
I am assuming you are rather young, and for that this is not a bad shot. a good try let's say. But maybe you should go back and try to simplify the language here and there and avoid the cliches (i.e. midnight caress, candle flickers). We know a candle flickers, we know flesh is warm (unless you are banging a corpse). Stuff like that. Reduce, reduce, reduce.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/3:12 PM
See comments on last poem, except this time kill the adverbs! And the clauses they are in! Living, loving, something, something, something..........rock and roll hootchie coo!
Re: How it should have happened by INTRANSIT	30-Jul-03/3:24 PM
Good god man put down the Playboy and step away from the thesaurus. What kind of poet are you? These images sound more like the work of a high school boy forlorn and lost in puppy love rather than a poem of sexual power. And what the hell kind of image of sex are you trying to portray with the corny oil derrick image. Mechanical, monotonous, boring. Yeah, that will get the women rocking and rolling. Dial down the center my man and maybe find the real poem in here. Until then keep on keepin' on. Moreover, I wanted to ask you: I read a book where clan members and right wing conspiracy theorists used that fancy phrase you taught me. Is that the crowd you hang out with?
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/3:31 PM
This had me going. I was there and then poof! I wasn't. What happened?
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jul-03/3:35 PM
Well, poof! that last bit.
Re: I, criminal by INTRANSIT	31-Jul-03/10:27 AM
Something in this ditty of yours needs possessing and not the gal that the cliched romance is written too. Eh?
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/10:31 AM
Way too much telling and not enough showing. Not that I care to see either of you naked.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/10:38 AM
This sounds a bit like a poem Kenneth Patchen wrote after waking up at 1 in the morning for a drink of water. Seems to move along fine and then the layering part breaks up the image.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/10:46 AM
Philadelphia Freedom was much more effective. i too hate all white people. and fat white people even more. And fat white English people even more. And fat white English people who buy up beachfront property in Spain. Those are the worst. The very worst white people.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/10:57 AM
Rather young and falling into melodrama. Seems to be full of statement like prose rather than any well defined images.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/11:24 AM
la de da de da de la. kill yourself poems are not so good, unless you like the high school food. i loved you once but now i don't, so please call me. please.
Re: A Circle Starts with C by rusty	31-Jul-03/12:02 PM
A square starts wit S. A mattress starts with M. why cum and not come. Why come and not orgasmic shot of burning hot salty love spew. I think that would work better.
Re: Mi Casa es Su Casa by <~>	31-Jul-03/12:32 PM
Since I now what your writing of I feel I have an unfair advantage. I did also suggest a simple two step, without clothes I might add.
Re: I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy	31-Jul-03/12:50 PM
Really, I am shallow and cannot get past the fact that you are an unshaven woman. I am sorry. Forgive me. I knew that plum was yours but I ate it anyway. Besides my narrow-minded view, which again I apologize for, I am quite fond of this.
regarding some deleted poem...	31-Jul-03/2:15 PM
You make Paris sound like Jack the Ripper lives there. what the hell is a lover lit park? Tell me!
Re: When Jesus Found Me by http://mulberryfairy	31-Jul-03/2:51 PM
complemented not complimented?
Re: For my wife by INTRANSIT	31-Jul-03/6:45 PM
Two sexiest things on the planet: Cars and women. YEAH BUDDY! HOOOOO YEAH!!!!!!!!! Okay now, let's bump chests and rut for the ladies! HOOOOOOO YEAH! Oh yes, what the hell is a kiss with a doves wing? did she chop up dinner and smooch you with the feathery wing before she plucked it? Is that where she belongs? In the kitchen? How do you become a placid pool? Do you do it oil derick fashion. bump be bump, bump be bump and then leak and form a toxic site. I amybe strecthing here, but I don't get it.