regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/1:40 PM
I like this one. Well-written, good flow, love S2. Nice :-)
Re: Homeland Security by Lenore	5-Feb-04/1:41 PM
Not bad...pretty well written, but I'd echo Rockmage and Zodiac's sentiments.
Re: A Beard Most Foul by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	5-Feb-04/1:42 PM
cute. can't take it seriously enough to really crit, but it's cute. in its own odd way.
Re: bluebells and none by richa	5-Feb-04/1:44 PM
Simplistic, but in a good way. I like this one. "crows" should be "crow's." I'd also throw a period after "...it was not stealing."
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/1:46 PM
Ah, I finally got to something more than 3 lines long hehe. Pretty good, I kinda like this one. I wish it went a little more below the surface, but it's well done. Good imagery in S2.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/1:48 PM
eh. it's a little cute-sy and a lot boring. not big on the forced rhyme scheme.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/1:54 PM
This is pretty, and the rhythm seems good. Not bad. Why are grass and blue sky capitalized in line 1? Stanza 2 Line 2 is a good line, I like that one. "and whatever they feast" is sort of awkward. How about just "dreams of cake on which they feast" or something like that. Stanza 3, L2 is also rather awkward. in the dry what? I mean, I know what you're trying to get at, but it doesn't sound right. you could probably just put something like "while deserts crack, hot and dry".
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/1:56 PM
The best part of this is the title. The poem, while not a bad concept, is quite poorly written and grammatically incorrect. I do like your last line, though. That's entertaining. (Do you really not even know how to spell Jesus?)
Re: Digging A Grave by Billy Biff-Chin	5-Feb-04/2:01 PM
the rhyme scheme is too forced and 'immature.' you expressed your sentiments just fine.
Re: Something's gone wrong by zodiac	5-Feb-04/2:07 PM
what can I say. Love your writing. Another great piece. (Er, can someone tell me just what a "pimple" is? LOL Thanks in advance). zodiac, you'd be great in that workshop i mentioned. Not interested...?
Re: Notes toward a possible poem by Nicholas Jones	5-Feb-04/2:08 PM
not bad..heh funny last line.
regarding some deleted poem...	5-Feb-04/2:10 PM
you know, i noticed something like that too. hehe
Re: Soft Beak; Hard lotion by Bachus	5-Feb-04/2:15 PM
lol..oh man. kinda crude to poke fun at the 13 year old's attempt...but that was funny and you've definitely got talent. There's lots of good stuff in here. Thoroughly entertaining.
Re: To A Streetchild by Sam	5-Feb-04/2:17 PM
ah, my comments would fit right in there with the ones already given. Pretty good, though.
Re: Necromancers Song (Incubus Guitar & Buddhist Drums) by SupremeDreamer	5-Feb-04/2:19 PM
This reads well. Love S2. Good imagery. I like it.
Re: A Panglossian Farmer by richa	5-Feb-04/2:20 PM
Nice. I like this one.
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	5-Feb-04/2:29 PM
The length and formatting of this piece make it rather intimidating to read. Eh, I don't know if intimidating is the right word. It just 'looks' like I would have a real hard time getting through it. But I read it anyway and a lot of the content is brilliant. Very unique and talented piece of writing, other than the aforementioned formatting problem :D I like this a lot though. I think most of the specifics I would have pointed out were already pointed out by zodiac. Otherwise, this is great. I really enjoyed it.
Re: Duck - an ode by zodiac	5-Feb-04/2:33 PM
This is not up to par with the other stuff i've read of yours, but then again, it did accomplish what I see it was meant to, and you did give it your own unique twist. Cute.
Re: Gardener by lastobelus	5-Feb-04/2:35 PM
well written with good imagery and a touch of humor...I like it.
Re: Castaway by andrewjthomas	5-Feb-04/2:42 PM
Well-written. You created your own form, huh. Impressive. Really. Nice job.