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Duck - an ode (Other) by zodiac [for blindpoetry:]
"Write up aids and ducks, wait... OH MY GOD...
write about ducks with aids..." - horus8
Itâs odd how on this snowy morning Iâm given
a dying bird as a figure. It shows
the humor of things, if not the intent. A crow
wouldnât have stopped me; but a duck, stiffened,
scratching duck angels in the thin snow
In an empty corner of Trafalgar Square
at dawn â thatâs inspired. So
I watch, thinking Iâve never seen the process
itself, just the effect. At the last moment is there
white light spiraled weightless as down into the air -
is it enough to believe in? I wouldnât know
From experience. So, duck: today your loss is
my gain. Youâll die of a sick heart, of AIDS,
with your two wrists slit, me looking on. Itâs hardly fair,
Iâm sure. But then we all die under crosses
which other, less-gentle hands have made â
And I suspect by the time youâre aware
of my burden, youâll be halfway to decayed.
Up the ladder:
I Think Of
Down the ladder:
Sugar Coating
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 8.545455
Posted: January 19, 2004 8:07 PM PST; Last modified: February 5, 2004 1:56 PM PSTWeighted score: 6.7727275 Overall Rank: 440 Comments:
[n/a]
zodiac @ 67.240.155.233
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5-Feb-04/10:50 AM
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Reply
Yeah, I posted over another poem again. This one has rhyme too. They all do.
This is not up to par with the other stuff i've read of yours, but then again, it did accomplish what I see it was meant to, and you did give it your own unique twist. Cute.
Not up to par?! This is the best (or maybe second best) thing I've written ever, not to mention that I've posted on this site! And the rhyme, as they say, is fuckin ace! I haven't been cocky in my self-promotion here, but Jesus - I'd just like to see you make more than a one-line commentary on this. Where should one word of this have been changed? Where could another idea be crammed in?? I spent a whole drunk morning caressing this to orgasm. You gave "Something's gone wrong" a 9 and this an 8??? I really hope you come back to it after making your rounds. And see that -=DA=- doesn't catch you on your way. He digs the uniform.
I'm sorry, but this hilarious, and really weird in a sort of a surreal dramatic way? huh... well, you certainly surprised me, I was wondering, I'm starting a publishing company, and I'd be interested in publishing your work, please e mail me for further information. horus8j@yahoo.com
Thankyou.
"I'm starting a publishing company, and I'd be interested in publishing" - will you wait and publish me posthumously? it's better for both of us that way.
certainly.
see you then.
I'm afraid I wasn't very up to the topic, the duck only metaphorically having AIDS (which is certainly cheating) and there no being mighty armada of ducks led by Sir Drake himself against perpetrators of injustice on ducks everywhere. You must feel pretty disappointed so far. But I am only a messenger, sent to bring word of a better duck poetry to come, a colossal messianic duck poem whose slitted ankles (or wrists) I am not fit to gaze upon. Repent! Cover ye with sackcloth and beat ye with chains, for that glorious purging day is nigh!
Why don't you email me? captain_zodiac@hotmail.com. 507 view(s)
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