Replying to a comment on:

Duck - an ode (Other) by zodiac

[for blindpoetry:] "Write up aids and ducks, wait... OH MY GOD... write about ducks with aids..." - horus8 It’s odd how on this snowy morning I’m given a dying bird as a figure. It shows the humor of things, if not the intent. A crow wouldn’t have stopped me; but a duck, stiffened, scratching duck angels in the thin snow In an empty corner of Trafalgar Square at dawn – that’s inspired. So I watch, thinking I’ve never seen the process itself, just the effect. At the last moment is there white light spiraled weightless as down into the air - is it enough to believe in? I wouldn’t know From experience. So, duck: today your loss is my gain. You’ll die of a sick heart, of AIDS, with your two wrists slit, me looking on. It’s hardly fair, I’m sure. But then we all die under crosses which other, less-gentle hands have made – And I suspect by the time you’re aware of my burden, you’ll be halfway to decayed.

zodiac 5-Feb-04/2:42 PM
Not up to par?! This is the best (or maybe second best) thing I've written ever, not to mention that I've posted on this site! And the rhyme, as they say, is fuckin ace! I haven't been cocky in my self-promotion here, but Jesus - I'd just like to see you make more than a one-line commentary on this. Where should one word of this have been changed? Where could another idea be crammed in?? I spent a whole drunk morning caressing this to orgasm. You gave "Something's gone wrong" a 9 and this an 8??? I really hope you come back to it after making your rounds. And see that -=DA=- doesn't catch you on your way. He digs the uniform.




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001