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Homeland Security (Free verse) by Lenore Itâs about survival
a primitive sense of safety,
well protected,
and weâre ready, armed
inside our fortress
by the TV
angered and anxious
breathing slowly,
taking it all in
as if we were, for now,
the only people on earth
Who must see
What others wont,
Who know
What has been hidden,
Who are waiting
silently, to take action
through chaos, the inevitable
product
of social order,
turned so far
from truth,
wide eyed, but
seeing nothing, miss
the signs of coming danger.
Up the ladder:
Jennifer Entire
Down the ladder:
Excite
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.25
Posted: February 3, 2004 9:18 AM PST; Last modified: February 3, 2004 9:18 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.029801 Overall Rank: 7336 Comments:
[6]
horus8 @ 24.126.116.54
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3-Feb-04/10:43 PM
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Reply
Danger, I'm sure that's someone's middle name.
I'm actually with rockmage. It's pretty well-written, barring some of those punctuational things which your higher state of evolution makes you immune to. But it doesn't inspire fear. George Bush inspires fear in me. The headlong crusading of America and Britain inspires fear. This poem could. I think (gasp) it's too intellectual. And are you ending on the note that there actually IS a coming danger? Of course there isn't! On second thought, this is the kind of cadgy line-toeing that makes a famous poem. No matter what side you come from, you'll think this poem says (but not particularly well) what you think. Bravo and an 8.
Not bad...pretty well written, but I'd echo Rockmage and Zodiac's sentiments.
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