Re: Background Noise by Plaidypus	28-Feb-05/10:04 PM
Did you just watch the movie "Girl with a Pearl Earring"? Just a wild guess.
Re: Forsaken by DevilBuni	28-Feb-05/10:00 PM
Some real advice for once: - Don't invert word order for a rhyme. - Don't cripple grammar for a rhyme. - Don't rhyme fear/tear, choose/lose, stand/hand, or taken/forsaken. An easy rule is: if any song I've ever heard does it, don't. - The way you continue sentences through lines like the ones ending in 'shun' and 'back' is really good. The rest of the lines seem poorly connected and mostly for rhyme's sake. - Punctuate. - Don't write poems about friends dissing and you don't know why.
Re: To Hell With Dylan Thomas by villy_zee_vanker	28-Feb-05/9:49 PM
It's not a bad poem, but I think it's unfair since Dylan Thomas can't answer, having pickled himself ages ago. Why don't you write a response to someone living? Seriously.
Re: a comment on It’s the Management by Dovina	28-Feb-05/9:42 PM
Look, I know you stopped listening to me a while ago, but listen now: I'm a trained feminist critic. That probably doesn't mean much to you, but it SHOULD mean I know how to handle the business of talking about whether things are sexist or not. I don't know what your job is, but I imagine it has something to do with handling money, and if I showed you a handful of quarters you'd probably be able to say 'that's not gonna be change for $100'. This is the same thing. -=Dark_Angel=-,P.I. is right, the poem is sexist regardless of its basis in real life, and you are more sexist than he is. Which is sad as your a bint and one lacking any other desirable attributes.
Re: a comment on Getting Pumped Up to Get Laid by PodPoet	28-Feb-05/9:31 PM
There's no such word as "layed". You fucking retard bint.
Re: a comment on Hunger by Dovina	28-Feb-05/9:28 PM
Are you actually insane? I'm only asking because I spent months once arguing with a guy who'd convinced me he held the Prestigious Whemying Chair at New School, New York, only to find out later he was completely bonked. And also you seem to be insane.
Re: a comment on I Love You by Blindpoetry	27-Feb-05/10:09 PM
Watch out, Blindpoetry's posts are a magnet for insipid preteen semiarguments.
Re: How Do I Become a Poet? (with John B. Benitez) by Vince Dolamando	27-Feb-05/10:07 PM
I'd guess you probably just need to grow about twenty years while not ending up like Dovina.
Re: a comment on Dancing on Glass by thepinkbunnyofdoom	27-Feb-05/10:06 PM
If poemranker is anything to go by, it doesn't.
Re: Homecoming Parade by wilco	27-Feb-05/10:05 PM
Please consider dropping the "I quit my job" and "I quit my life" bits.
Re: Ode by James Rykelangeli	27-Feb-05/10:03 PM
Welcome to poemranker. It's funny you wrote a poem in a stuffy contemptuous rhetorical style about stuffy contemptuous rhetorical poets.
Re: a comment on Hunger by Dovina	27-Feb-05/9:58 PM
World hunger is cogent, and an argument against what this poem is saying. I know I said why above, but this is how committed I am to your improvement: 1. "You present me a plate of food" is not an adequate answer to the statement "I am hungry". The problem's not that simple, and anyways, most starving people are not presented plates of food. "I am hungry / You present me a plate of food" comes out facile and classist beyond belief. Just say, When *I*, Dovina, am hungry, someone presents me with a plate of food. But why would you want to? 2. The "New sensations / Mental formulations" clearly means you're going toward Maslow with this. "I am hungry" in successive repetitions comes to represent, in this order, hunger for safety/shelter, hunger for love/esteem, hunger for knowledge, hunger for beauty, hunger for self-actualization, and hunger for God. You probably didn't have it this clear in your mind when you wrote the poem - that's irrelevant. Anyway, I doubt very much that a starving person gives much of a fuck that his hunger is just going to become a hunger for mental formulations while he's starving. Even Maslow made sure of saying that, and Maslow's completely bum. By repeating the poem with the same words you're basically making all those other hungers equivalent to physical hunger. Do you understand why doing that is bow'ls? Because that's what you're doing. I'm sorry I use so many vulgarities in my comments to you. The problem is that I think about you and your comments all night, and by the time I make it to the internet cafe I'm just frothing at your persistent headbutting into the jellyish paunch of stupidity. I can honestly say you're the most willfully ignorant person I've ever met, and I've met a lot of ignorant people. If you've got a problem with me, with my comment style, or whatever, fine. Personally, I have a problem with you. But that shouldn't stop you from at least comprehending one - just one! any one! - of my points. That you haven't yet is another stain on your muchsmeared buskins of repute. zodiac PS-Ace distinction on "sensibility and logic". I bet you a nickel you can't explain it!
Re: a comment on Hunger by Dovina	27-Feb-05/9:57 PM
Yes, random 10s are funny. That has nothing to do with "sensibility and logic". Yes, using "your" instead of "you're" is funny. So is using quotation marks when they're not needed. Neither of them has anything to do with sensibility and logic. They more have to do with things that make me laugh or at least smile. This comment so far has used a fair amount of sensibility and logic. That I have to batter you with it is simply beyond my capacity for understanding. You should just get how it's logical. Anyway just trust me, it's logical. Of course, you're not going to believe me, so I'm applying to an outside source: AHMED THE INTERNET GUY: Oh, yes, definitely logical. Sensible too. As for the rest, there is no "straw man" and stop using that for an argument. The thought of trying to adequately explain why simply exhausts me, but in short you're bound to have heard about Mark Twain's famous novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and His Accompanying Negro. Q: Is it racist? A: Probably. Q: But how? It doesn't "imply" any specific "propositions" about the inferiority of Negros! A: Because it doesn't imply anything except Negros are larkey, goodnatured, and easily handled. Q: I don't think that makes it racist. A: Whatever, your entitled to your own opinion.
Re: a comment on It’s the Management by Dovina	27-Feb-05/9:07 PM
You can't say 'a blatant ... response'.
Re: a comment on Jack and Jill by Dovina	27-Feb-05/9:02 PM
Sorry, was your idea of friendship a hobo who calls you 'guvna' after you toss him a half-eaten creuller?
Re: Untitled by MacFrantic	25-Feb-05/11:00 PM
Punctuate at the line ends. Delete the "all" before flattery, and make flattery 3 syllables. Write this in real English. Write it on a real topic.
Re: a comment on The Voice by jroday	25-Feb-05/10:51 PM
Well, most of us don't have the advantage of being practically or actually the same person.
Re: It’s the Management by Dovina	25-Feb-05/10:48 PM
I don't think you have a really good idea what you're trying to say.
Re: a comment on Jack and Jill by Dovina	25-Feb-05/10:46 PM
Oddly, that's the most reasonable answer you've ever posted here. Unfortunately, I think it means we can't be friends anymore.
Re: a comment on Hunger by Dovina	25-Feb-05/10:37 PM
Hey, that's a great proof. Start with a bum assumption and who knows where you'll end up? Hanging yourself in confusion probably. Now let me ask you something: At any point during your realization of this fabulous idea did it occur to you that a lot of people - most of the people in the world, in fact - ARE ACTUALLY HUNGRY? I can guarantee you most of them wish the problem was as simple as "You present me a plate of food" (false passive be damned). And where the fuck is their fucking plate of food anyway? You're sure as fuck not presenting them to it, you're just writing illiterate bumfucking bullshit socalled poems about the most illiterate misrealization of the heirarchy of needs I've EVER SEEN in a long time looking at illiterate misrealizations of things. AND WHAT'S THIS???!?!?!? After I eat my plate of food I just become hungry for OTHER THINGS??!?! Psychological and SPIRITUAL things?! Well Jesus Christ I might as well just hang myself in confusion right now. I'll just STARVE FROM SPIRITUAL HUNGER otherwise. Oh no wait. I'm starving from physical hunger first. And where's my fucking plate of goddamn food? Or maybe you simply thought you were relating to starving people - you know, I know you're hungry for a plate of food to present itself, but I'm hungry for mental formulations, and that's like the same thing, it's a loop see. Fuck you. If you've ever been hungrier than when your Happy Meal takes longer than the required five minutes at the drive thru, I'll eat my own shmaugh*. In short, I am so sincerely horrified by this poem I dream of it. I'm being absolutely honest, so none of this zodiac's just a big website flamer and hopeless gay introvert to boot. This is wrong, wrong beyond almost anything I've read in 4000-something poems on poemranker, to say the least. If you haven't gotten yet that everybody else to post on this poem feels exactly the same way, please take my word for it and delete this now. Thank you very much. zodiac *=that patterned headcloth Arab men wear, otherwise known as a towel.