Re: Casus Belli by unknown	3-Sep-02/8:52 AM
Your taking a chance by standing on un-popular ground that's good. The poem needs weeding.
Re: the mattress is a magnet by silvertongueddevil	3-Sep-02/8:42 AM
Fantastic poetry. Your observations are always true and original. The title of this caught my eye.
Re: Bring me back to life by kawakurdi	3-Sep-02/8:30 AM
"renew my address" is a good line. The rest is too cliche.
Re: Oh So! by KezzY20	3-Sep-02/8:28 AM
Yuck.
Re: in the eye of the stone dragon: by Sapphire	3-Sep-02/8:16 AM
Well this is erotic but the salted tongue thing is too comical.
Re: Conversation Piece by timfowler	3-Sep-02/7:48 AM
Nice, The :'s and the ;'s are distracting especially in the 1st & 2nd lines. Maybe they have some cryptic meaning I'm to obtuse to understand. In the last stanza the prep. phrase is so long I forgot what the subject of the sentence was. Awkward. Nice but awkward.
Re: God's Rod (toilet drink poem) by horus8	2-Sep-02/9:40 PM
Terrific. Came up on random. The jesus/devil metaphors are funny and, best of all, accurate. The last stanza is pure sunday school.
Re: you're never alone by nentwined	2-Sep-02/9:26 PM
What exactly are you writing about?
Re: Autumn Songs by timfowler	2-Sep-02/9:25 PM
What exactly is it you're about?
Re: Through the eyes of life by Angel_of_fait	2-Sep-02/9:22 PM
For the sake of my own sanity I'm going to believe you're actually a grown-up pretending to be a 14yr old who writes bad poetry. This can't be serious. It's completely illogical that someone who can read could write this poorly.
Re: somewhere between alpha and omega by crin	2-Sep-02/11:53 AM
I always love pretty things. There's no grandeur in crin's poem. Maybe you've got some wrong ideas about me.
Re: wHEN mY wATER rUNS dRY by Sigh'ense...	2-Sep-02/9:35 AM
I love the sentiment but the last lines in the first and second stanzas frustrate me. I want them to glide better.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	2-Sep-02/9:26 AM
A beauty indeed. Sweet Selene, even the tides arrange themselves to her mood.
Re: somewhere between alpha and omega by crin	2-Sep-02/9:15 AM
I don't know who could have given this a zero. It's well balanced and pretty. The 1st & 2nd stanzas are perfectly constructed. This would make a great song. And the last line reminds of how foolish it is to fall in love.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	2-Sep-02/8:45 AM
The more I read this the more it speaks. 5 yrs. is a long time, and they never collided did they? They fell apart.
Re: The Astronomer's Lament by Christof	2-Sep-02/8:34 AM
I love this, there are no question marks popping up in my head. Using 'dead' twice in line 9 has me squirming a little. Just a pet peeve of mine. Your poems always end strong. I believe the end is more important then the beginning. I especially love the image of the 2 lovers' orbits out of sink. The balance of that delicate dance coming apart. When worlds collide.
Re: Black Heart by brazen	1-Sep-02/2:07 PM
This poem is terrible.
Re: Sick by timfowler	1-Sep-02/1:45 PM
I'm having trouble with all the commas. I tend to overuse them myself. Otherwise good, particularly the last stanza, it's pretty and careworn.
Re: A Few Minutes' Reflection by longships	1-Sep-02/1:32 PM
I don't believe you meant for all those question marks to be there. You might want to take a look.
Re: To Diana, five years away by kawakurdi	1-Sep-02/12:09 PM
I think you meant the last comment to be for Journey to the sun. If you'd like advice on your Diana poem I think squeals is definitely out, moan, cry, clamor, I don't keep playing with it. It's a dificult line. Also sexual intercourse and orgasm should be alluded to. Is it really 'Deeper' that your hoping for or more profound. Look up profound in the thesaurus and dictionary you'll probably come with something more accurate.