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To Diana, five years away (Free verse) by kawakurdi
There is a space for you, Diana Your own legitimate existential niche in our world Cruelly interrupted But it is still here with us I feel it every day The news is imperfect without you The celebrities get away with their rubbish The politicians with their dumbness The monarchy with their empty recycled bombast And mine-crippled children look for your exiled star In the duskiness of the universe And missing in the world is this look, this genuine ordinary feeling, These soft heartfelt words of truthfulness I feel your absent presence Queen of hearts There is your vacant existential niche This extra missing exciting news item In this Kingdom of humbug Where there are still wild dogs barking after you Wishing to lick your bones Where media perverts educate children Where porn and profit preach morality Where an ocean of causes of crime Claims to be tough on the waves of crime I am missing you, sister I miss a word of heart From Queen of hearts To open eyes to the worlds beyond Worlds bigger than hearts as big as coins And to open ears to sighs of pain Deeper than the squeals of sexual intercourse I feel there is a shining vacancy Like a halo around the moon Hanging over the world There is a space for you, Diana In our hearts Cruelly violated.


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Arithmetic Mean: 6.5
Weighted score: 5.4034123
Overall Rank: 3116
Posted: August 31, 2002 4:46 AM PDT; Last modified: August 31, 2002 4:46 AM PDT
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Comments:
[9] <~> @ 24.44.185.41 | 31-Aug-02/4:50 AM | Reply
the words themselves ache with the loss.
[8] anagram @ 195.92.168.173 | 31-Aug-02/5:41 PM | Reply
Excellent, except for the squeals of sexual intercourse.I feel some other type of squeals would have sufficed.But someone had to write one and well done to you.
[n/a] kawakurdi @ | 1-Sep-02/3:16 AM | Reply
You are right anagram, i wasn't happy with squeals of ....myself but wanted to say something about the obsession of wesetrn culture/films/media/tabloids/ with sex. I have edited the sentence to "squeals of faked orgasm" to show how even sex is dtrivialised by this
obsession, but still not happy with it.
Can god's wife suggest something?
[n/a] god'swife @ 209.178.178.27 | 1-Sep-02/12:09 PM | Reply
I think you meant the last comment to be for Journey to the sun. If you'd like advice on your Diana poem I think squeals is definitely out, moan, cry, clamor, I don't keep playing with it. It's a dificult line. Also sexual intercourse and orgasm should be alluded to. Is it really 'Deeper' that your hoping for or more profound. Look up profound in the thesaurus and dictionary you'll probably come with something more accurate.
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