Comments byShuushin, 721–740 back, including replies. Only comments on poems

replying on Buried pyramid by zodiac 17 Mar 2004, 4:38 PM
sure. Rhyming prose. Got it.
on Buried pyramid by zodiac 17 Mar 2004, 2:32 PM
Nice details.

It's good prose Zodiac - what's the translation?
on What is the use of the lid? by A. Nomaly 16 Mar 2004, 12:01 PM
only one person I know ever uses the word "lacquered", but this has nothing to do with ass....

or does it...

replying on Your silhouette still drinks at my table by Don-Quixote 14 Mar 2004, 12:26 PM
Where, please, did you get your form rules from?
on My Boyfriend's Afro Pick by horus8 13 Mar 2004, 5:29 PM
people still wear those things? Horry shirt, what a roosah.
I guess I liked it better when you threw the pineapple at her head.
replying on Being by horus8 12 Mar 2004, 1:17 PM
Yes, last time I was in Troy.
Title rocks.
replying on Being by horus8 12 Mar 2004, 10:26 AM
I'm referring to the "coup" as you call it - which I no longer care to discuss.

Beside the point, my eyes have seen plenty 'nuf of H8 in all his glory!
replying on Being by horus8 12 Mar 2004, 6:34 AM
yeah... about that...
replying on Brethren by richa 11 Mar 2004, 8:07 PM
um, is there sposed to be a second "p" in the third line...?
replying on Aesgntor by MacFrantic 11 Mar 2004, 8:01 PM
not too shabby at all! Just gets a little busy, but its quite an epic.
on Brethren by richa 11 Mar 2004, 8:41 AM
sold.
replying on Brethren by richa 11 Mar 2004, 7:39 AM
Okay, then I get the title. But now I'm stuck with the dichotomy between Quakers and science/progress...

They're running out of time? Ultimately these girls will betray themselves and their clan with idividuality and joining the outside world?
on Aesgntor by MacFrantic 11 Mar 2004, 7:13 AM
Flows fairly well - thinking "Sancturies" should not be plural, but possessive.

Got pulled right through the first third, (was thinking, "this is a ten, this is a ten") then I had trouble following the story ("...9....8...") - might be more complex than it needs to be?

How does one pronounce "Aesgntor?"
replying on Brethren by richa 11 Mar 2004, 7:06 AM
but doesn't the word "brethren" indicate brotherhood [with a solemn or religious tone]?

I very much like the sounds this makes, but the logic eludes me. Still not getting the Sir Newton angle.
on Brethren by richa 10 Mar 2004, 7:43 PM
my turn to look stupid; I don't unnastand.
on Causation by fevriere 10 Mar 2004, 7:35 AM
Is not too bad, really.

I hesitate slightly at some of the rhymes (arrive and alive) in particular and a couple grammar issues (...essay fast - fast wants to be an adverb and is not) - and I'm usually pretty easy going with that kind of thing in poetry.

It does a nice job at conveying the loss
replying on Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT 9 Mar 2004, 7:41 PM
hey - thanks.
replying on Metametahaiku by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 8 Mar 2004, 4:47 AM
and your predictable retort - the other angle was that I'm referring to my own included haiku.

And thank you for showing me the word "Limpest" for the first time in print.