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Free verse № 94353

Buried pyramid

Member since 2004 · Posted 16 Mar 2004 · Edited 17 Mar 2004 · 7 comments

(Cholula,) There was a band, some Mariachi outfit in a roasting bar; we danced till I caught a bad beat and puked in a box of Dos Equis bottles in the parking lot. She was dancing, Adibe, when I came back, a drink held up over her head, and this crotchy Catholic-girl swing she had, so watching her you knew how she’d be with her black tight slacks off and the windows pulling tropic early-morning damp in the room and her neck bent to kiss like a horse drinking, a sharp peak of shoulder-blades - hair falling around her brown Naco face. It’d smell like old smoke, puke, tile after a squall in the afternoon; like night swollen with rain, shit-drunk, heavy-lidded and utterly fuckall. Then she was dancing with Oscar, who told her the night-guardia at the church-topped pyramid 'd sell us hash. Not that we wanted it, but we headed up empty Camino Real in the cold waking-up dark, under streetlamps that rendered us in ones and twos. And Adibe rolled sleepily against me like a cat - and Oscar as well - sang softly, - amor, por ti bebí mi propio llanto... and mixed up the verses; and a drunk old sadness made the night airless and splendorous, made a game of not falling in the swell- and-dip of the big dew-slick cobbles, till the wondrous seriousness of keeping our feet under us left us, and we fell.

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mean 9.50 weighted 6.21 rank 973 views 381 View voting details →

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7 comments

[9] Shuushin 17-Mar-04/2:32 PM Reply
Nice details.

It's good prose Zodiac - what's the translation?
[n/a] zodiac Shuushin 17-Mar-04/2:48 PM Reply
Love,
for you I drank
my own sob/cry/scream...
- from 'Revancha' by Agustin Lara (the hispanic Bing Crosby)
[n/a] zodiac Shuushin 17-Mar-04/2:49 PM Reply
"Good prose" - and it rhymes.
[9] Shuushin zodiac 17-Mar-04/4:38 PM Reply
sure. Rhyming prose. Got it.
[10] Fear of Garbage 18-Mar-04/8:49 AM Reply
Zodiac, you're the only one who comments anymore. I have to give this a 10
[n/a] Bachus 19-Mar-04/9:57 AM Reply
Pardon me while I ass yawn with you.
[9] <~> 22-Apr-04/10:44 PM Reply
nice enjambments. i struggled with a few of the words pulled out f order, but i see what you are up to, and i like it. and this, this made me smile:

till the wondrous
seriousness of keeping our feet under us
left us, and we fell.


thank you.