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Causation (Free verse) by fevriere Looking out of the window, I am free
The blank sky is everything to me
and nothing. No thing can keep me this way.
So far I've survived every day
Every day with you in it
Every day without you.
Scrawling an essay fast, I am me
The blank page needs these chains to be
free. These things can keep me alive
until That arrives. I survive
Every day with you in it.
Every day without you.
Up the ladder:
Gale of Death (Paradelle)
Down the ladder:
Your Beautiful Silence
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.6666665
Posted: March 10, 2004 6:04 AM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2004 6:04 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.9602656 Overall Rank: 8673 Comments:
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215
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10-Mar-04/6:25 AM
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Reply
I'm miles from home, I'm hurting, I'm in a cafe, and I write. I write.
Is not too bad, really.
I hesitate slightly at some of the rhymes (arrive and alive) in particular and a couple grammar issues (...essay fast - fast wants to be an adverb and is not) - and I'm usually pretty easy going with that kind of thing in poetry. It does a nice job at conveying the loss 158 view(s)
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