Re: by jessicazee	7-Jul-04/4:32 AM
nothing wrong with this one.
Re: Paradelle of Progress by Dovina	6-Jul-04/7:18 PM
Difficult form; I've got a crown I've been working on for about 2 years. Keep at it.
Re: Cool car!! by DR Limerick	6-Jul-04/11:28 AM
Bogatar and "open top car" go very well, even if a little telegraphed.
Re: Worst Sex Ever by Brittanyy	4-Jul-04/9:00 PM
a sad thing indeed.
Re: a comment on Translation by Dovina	3-Jul-04/3:53 PM
You is welcome.
Re: blobby sums +-*/ by MR Blobby	3-Jul-04/3:30 PM
an your total is six.
Re: Mississippi Burnin. by SupremeDreamer	3-Jul-04/3:29 PM
A good hook. you could rather put "hang me on a Mississippi tree" and increase your market share, I think.
Re: Translation by Dovina	3-Jul-04/3:28 PM
quite nice, this. I think you could loose most of the commas though (not hers) and it would be stronger for it (especially the ones before "and").
Re: Charming Distraction ( The Day I Put My Socks On Backwards) by MacFrantic	3-Jul-04/8:26 AM
rotary phone is a nice touch. I've been critiqued for my line breaks recently, but some of these give me pause. If no one else says anything then its just me.
Re: Love Slain by Mus Vai	3-Jul-04/5:43 AM
I like your name.
Re: a comment on Recycled Stardust by Quarton	3-Jul-04/5:33 AM
yes. You're making assumptions again.
Re: a comment on Recycled Stardust by Quarton	3-Jul-04/5:22 AM
god'swife - thank you. Time is a device for our own convenience; it really doesn't exist.
Re: Precious Thing 2 by cleverdevice	3-Jul-04/5:06 AM
gripping to a certain degree - maybe grasping. Lots of nice symbolism to play with, but I think *maybe* it's a tad long. and that last sentence needs to go.
Re: a comment on Recycled Stardust by Quarton	2-Jul-04/2:12 PM
this is not the name I was referring to earlier - and I used none of those words, girlfriend. If I wanted to be all those things then I would use -= ZODIAC =- (notice the larger-than-life capital letters.
Re: Poetry. by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:29 AM
less ars, and more poetica, please.
Re: Stuck in VI by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:28 AM
here.
Re: Xansis by jonnyduk	2-Jul-04/5:27 AM
ditto
Re: Veracious Flames by Evening	2-Jul-04/5:23 AM
you could almost remove the first word of every line and the thing would be better for it. I like this one.
Re: When the night completes by donmiguel1960	2-Jul-04/5:19 AM
There's some good language in here though it comes off a little choppy'list-like. How is that fixed? Try, if you want, playing with where the lines end and your preposition use (there are lots of them in here). Flow and show?
Re: The Missing Peace by nothingtoanyone	1-Jul-04/7:09 PM
This reminds me more of an outline or some notes for a poem. Should be distilled quite a bit.