regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Jan-04/1:12 PM |
This is twice as good as the tripe CLS just spewed -
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Re: Covers by sonawrote |
31-Jan-04/3:56 AM |
It's quite close to something good but it's kept back a bit, i think, by some of the rhymes and that last part where disguise is repeated - somehow gets difficult there. I'd say worth re-working a bit.
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Re: To Avalon by annabellee |
31-Jan-04/3:59 AM |
A good synthesis and gently embedded rhymes - but I can't decide if it's too long or too short...
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Re: Drizzle by Sam |
31-Jan-04/4:04 AM |
Actually, this is quite good for the most part.
"Flood the land with gentle take over" is not.
I can do without "forlornly" and "little" in this context.
I think it's still deserving of a nine though - nice job.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
31-Jan-04/8:25 AM |
needing to make some changes....
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Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
1-Feb-04/7:48 PM |
Brilliant.
Anyone voting less than an *almighty* TEN - is an ass - and I mean that, else God take my eyes.
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Re: There is a pea in my bed by w~* ATHENA *~w |
4-Feb-04/6:00 PM |
why you be a plagiarisah? tha be bad.
bad gir.
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Re: Something's gone wrong by zodiac |
5-Feb-04/2:08 PM |
spacing makes me a bit screwed up
but then (I was always a bit so)
what does it all mean? I guess I'll have to use your scale of measurement for such things.
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Re: Prize gained life, Death in wages by GTK |
5-Feb-04/8:56 PM |
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Re: without music by Limness |
5-Feb-04/8:58 PM |
what you say is not badly said - yet...
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Re: The City (New Jerusaem) by blkarak |
5-Feb-04/8:59 PM |
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Re: Damien by Sugarbbybuttrfly |
5-Feb-04/8:59 PM |
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Re: Monday by betty swallox |
5-Feb-04/9:06 PM |
what is this shirty you speak of?
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regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Feb-04/9:19 PM |
gonna agree with zodiac; this is a good start - a conceptual sketch.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
5-Feb-04/9:21 PM |
RM, I like the idea of it; dunno - I think I'm thrown by the part rhyme, part not combined with word choices that seem selected specifically to rhyme - yet have no mate. S3 espec.
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Re: A Panglossian Farmer by richa |
5-Feb-04/9:24 PM |
paints an interesting picture; fresh.
walls? plural? why?
I like the "week in plaster" but it pulls me from a simpler time; smacks of technology - maybe a splint?
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Re: Swiftly by darkshark |
6-Feb-04/5:08 PM |
sounds too cold to cross with bare feet... I don't think the first stanza is really needed, certainly not the first line (if not, then u could change "water" to "brook")
nor is "out of the water"
the last "And" could better be "Then"
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regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Feb-04/5:05 AM |
Most gays are only faking it to get attention - same with straight people.
This is especially true on poemranker, and specifically true in settle's case.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Feb-04/5:14 AM |
was the cold-cut bologna by any chance?
Your love of mathematics is obvious. cool title.
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regarding some deleted poem... |
7-Feb-04/5:21 AM |
Hey, its a cute ditty; more craft than art - and occasionally that's not a terrible thing.
high marks for accessibility - poetry for the wheelchaired masses (and/or harnessed, as the case may be).
Suggestion: change "for fun" to "diversion" - it rhymes a bit better with conclusion. You may want to stick a descriptor in there, "happy", or "playful"; something like that.
You could also change the title to "pool and poetry"...
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