regarding some deleted poem...	13-Jan-04/7:24 PM
nothing gold can stay... i think too much telling for such imagery - were it a story of some type; well maybe it is. dunno.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/1:25 PM
Water and oil apparently do mix; welcome back.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/1:32 PM
"mad grey men capped white with passing" most excellent.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Jan-04/1:33 PM
the line break conveys the length well; nice!
Re: War zone by INTRANSIT	15-Jan-04/1:35 PM
Was there a preposition sale someplace I missed? Cute story.
Re: Skull Soup v.2 by SupremeDreamer	15-Jan-04/1:39 PM
I like it, with one small exception - okay two, but the second is more general. The first stanza - mixed metaphor, I think you can fix it with removing the last three lines (and still completely retain the meaning). It may be my taste, but I kept feeling like strings of words could be removed here and there, maybe 2,3 words in a row - to make the remainder more rich.
Re: The back of a shovel? by horus8	17-Jan-04/5:39 PM
"Then..." I think? good one.
regarding some deleted poem...	22-Jan-04/1:57 PM
So close...
regarding some deleted poem...	23-Jan-04/4:22 AM
W e l c o m e back, Herr Mage.
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jan-04/7:43 PM
Thanks for the great response, all - very much appreciated. Big thanks, GW for the specifics.
Re: Are You O.K.? by sonawrote	27-Jan-04/6:31 AM
I think it would be a grand percent better without the "without delay" - as it is, its fairly good and I can see it working very well at a poetry reading.
Re: Dry Beast Night by fevriere	27-Jan-04/6:41 AM
interesting rhymes and near-word reflections. It struck me (not harshly) more as an exercise, albeit a good one, rather than a poem that can stand on its own; a little too much of one trick in the pony-beast. Having said all that - this beast is a sestina fer crying out loud, and one of the more cogent ones I've read in a while so; huge kudos for that. Nice job.
Re: Drying, Cracked Roots by AnotherNothing	27-Jan-04/6:50 AM
I like that it is a non-typical angle on the life of a tree; futility rather than growth and life (the same thing, perhaps). What about changing the last "trees" to a specific kind of trees? Don't do willow - too "done". Alternatively, maybe a specific *part* of a tree (trunks, roots, branches...). anyway, I like what you have, more so for the different perspective.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jan-04/1:09 PM
What are you trying to say?
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jan-04/1:10 PM
good.
Re: So Much**coment this sucks. I want to make it better by Freethinker1602	27-Jan-04/1:19 PM
17 lines = 17 poems yet to be made; each is title. Its a shopping list, come back with a full bag.
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jan-04/9:30 PM
I see you.
Re: My Angel by emilys369	28-Jan-04/1:25 PM
OMG - this is precious: "I think of him always, twenty-four seven. I know he will always be, my angel from heaven."
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jan-04/8:09 PM
need to fix a few things.
regarding some deleted poem...	30-Jan-04/12:10 PM
This is, without a doubt, the filthiest thing I've read on these pages. [Thinly] veiled poetic allusions to oral, anal (etc.) sex, golden (etc.) showers, flesh "decorating" including cutting - kindof scary, really. And given the level of craftmanship - it's not realy poetry is it - it's a shopping list, or at best "what I did on my summer vacation". disgusting.