DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Are You O.K.?

Member since 2004 · Posted 26 Jan 2004 · 8 comments

No one ever asked me .... what's wrong they just go on ... to make the assumption consumption .... of every day life that's what's wrong ... what do you say make up excuses ... of all their uses our consumption ... of everyday life does it really matter ... what they say are you okay??? ... today answer me ... without delay i don't want to ... make the assumption of what everyone says .... or fall into consumption of every day life hey, hey, Are you okay??

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8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

8 comments

[8] Shuushin 27-Jan-04/6:31 AM Reply

I think it would be a grand percent better without the "without delay" - as it is, its fairly good and I can see it working very well at a poetry reading.

[6] zodiac 27-Jan-04/5:34 PM Reply

This is a mess. Is your .-button stuck? Are you ok? Do you know what consumption is?

[n/a] Blindpoetry › zodiac 27-Jan-04/6:54 PM Reply

nothing against what you say (as some stuff people reply to creates arguments, I've learned) ...but wouldn't that just be called a "poetic license"?

...but I'm kind of new to poetry terms right now... so correct me if I'm wrong.

[6] zodiac › Blindpoetry 27-Jan-04/7:04 PM Reply

No. Poetic license is when writers who are already immensely famous (usually for no particular reason) do annoying things that people who don't know better have to respect. We, the drudges in the black coal-mines of poetry, are not entitled to it. When we try, they tell us we're just amateurish.

[n/a] Blindpoetry › zodiac 27-Jan-04/7:40 PM Reply

ah, I see...

[n/a] lastobelus › Blindpoetry 28-Jan-04/3:50 AM Reply

sure. She can do whatever the fuck she wants. Then, subsequently, we the readers can SAY whatever the fuck we want about what she did. That's the famous corollary to Poetic License--Reader's License. Also know as the Calling You on Your Bullshit License.

[6] zodiac › lastobelus 28-Jan-04/6:56 AM Reply

Good point. It should also be said that good content often excuses poetically licensed form; but weird form almost never makes up for lack of content.

[n/a] sonawrote 28-Jan-04/8:27 PM Reply

then in that case I was ahead of myself....it was written when I was 14 in Chem class.....board meetings were 10 years away.....