regarding some deleted poem...	7-Feb-04/5:26 AM
another math wiz. Says something and nothing at the same time, and therefore cancels itself out. Points for formatting; settle for a six.
Re: UltraSound by UnityMitford	7-Feb-04/5:56 AM
oddly ... odd. ahh - its a father talking to his son about a new daughter.
Re: before I forget by moonUnit	7-Feb-04/6:05 AM
Pleasant - something a mother would love; I like it enough to give it a snowman (cuz its snowing)
Re: everyone sucks. by kliq	7-Feb-04/7:45 AM
"And it's more than my mother ever wanted" is a great line worthy of refrain. "less power than [she]" please (as in "less power than she had" not "less power than her had") last line is awkward; consider "... will always be a woman [with choice]." not too shabby at all - I choose to give it a nine.
Re: regret. by darby pyn	7-Feb-04/9:05 AM
I like it - rhyming scheme is subtle yet sophisticated. I got a little caught up in that though, now I have figure out what the message is...
Re: Fact of the Matter by marvelis	7-Feb-04/9:09 AM
Well, its on the edge of profundity (either slightly too far, or not far enough - can't decide). A few of the ryhmes and phrasings seemed forced to my ear though. I'm thinking it could be just *slightly* distilled into something very powerful.
Re: Gardener by lastobelus	7-Feb-04/9:53 AM
this is very lovely.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Feb-04/9:55 AM
yes, I saw this too. pretty cool http://blogs.osafoundation.org/mitch/000384.html would be cool to make a poem like that - are you volunteering?
Re: everything Zen by crwncka1	7-Feb-04/12:05 PM
first brown spot: "now changing my own reflection forming a reflecting mirror" and that was the last - I think it works quite well.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Feb-04/12:59 PM
Not too shabby, really - I think the ending, last stanza especially, is a tad rushed though (not in its execution; that's awkward, but in it's construction)- but probably fairly easily fixed with a little elbow grease. Have a snowman, a nine awaits your polishing.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Feb-04/4:48 AM
Good cutting line - And I like the universalness of L2. I think you could do something with the first line though. In a haiku, each word is a precious thing; maybe "The" and "blue" could be tweeked? (Even if you are conveying a sadness with "blue")
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Feb-04/4:54 AM
sweetly made.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Feb-04/5:02 AM
Great use of an unusual word. I would keep "peep" ("make" is weak). The only suggestion is just me feeling the fun of it - maybe you could do a stanza about fishing; baiting a hook (or not)? Or the road after a rainstorm... have a ten.
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Feb-04/5:08 AM
This works (it's because of the duct tape, duct tape will fix anything). Try another word beside "Eat" (chomp, mau, bite, barf, grab, snag, snarf ... okay, that's all I got.)
Re: After the ice season ~ shamelessly lewd revision by zodiac	9-Feb-04/10:50 AM
Took me a couple reads to appreciate it, but I like it. My main hesitation was the many prepositional phrases - having said that, I really want the first line to be: "After this season of ice is over" - see, another prep phrase, but it seems to flow better, imho. My ear keeps wanting "warm" to be an adverb, rather than a noun - but somehow it works (as is often the case). And I'd prefer some specific types of tree and wine and weed. But, after a few reads, the idea of it convinces me - its a good perspective. Good enough to build a snowman out of -8-
Re: Suggestions by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	9-Feb-04/12:39 PM
what exactly is a custard cream, anyway?
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Feb-04/7:46 PM
a strong one. "in the limp light of a grey March dawning" rocks.
regarding some deleted poem...	10-Feb-04/11:44 AM
"I loved her much" a perfect opportunity to use a word I've been wanting to use all week "overmuch"
Re: Lifes work by richa	10-Feb-04/1:02 PM
Surreal nice.
Re: House of the Risen Son by livingcanvas	11-Feb-04/11:55 AM
yes - I predict this will be a big hit, so big in fact, that it will be copied with slight modifications by the Doors, the Animals, and Bob Dylan.