DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Lifes work

Member since 2002 · Posted 10 Feb 2004 · Edited 27 Feb 2004 · 8 comments

The dumb squirrel has again tilted the earth, a clod-footed geranium's ear bends to bedrock, a boneless body once more to be buried up to its neck in soil. The squirrel looks on like a boxer, his tiny claws up, hiding his chin.

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 9.00 weighted 5.48 rank 2821 views 315 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

8 comments

[9] zodiac 10-Feb-04/11:20 AM Reply

I don't like the repetition of again. Probably just my taste, though.

[n/a] richa › zodiac 10-Feb-04/11:32 AM Reply

No need to be so reticent.

I did not really notice the repetition. If I find anything more major to edit, the re-edited version will use 'once more' in the sixth line.

[8] Shuushin 10-Feb-04/1:02 PM Reply

Surreal nice.

[n/a] richa 27-Feb-04/10:10 AM Reply

(original)

The dumb squirrel has again
tilted the earth

the clod-footed geranium's
ear bends to bedrock,
a boneless body
again to be buried
up to its neck

in soil. Spadework,

the skies stay open.

[8] Shuushin 27-Feb-04/7:43 PM Reply

that last bit - it's visual to be sure, but think I liked the other version?

The squirrel completely freezes the ability for me to look around and consider the setting for me, and that image is what I'm left with. If that was the intent then kudos, but its quite a departure from the previous version.

[9] zodiac 28-Feb-04/9:37 AM Reply

'to be' in 'once more to be buried' bothers me. I've been looking in Poet's Market at poetry reviews which specialize in minimalism, which I think is where you're headed. You might take a look at 'Indefinite Space' (wings.buffalo.edu/epc/ezines/treehome/tree05/indef_22.html) and 'Raw Dog Press/Post Poems,' (www.freeyellow.com/members/rawdog) among others. See if you can get published.

[n/a] richa › zodiac 2-Mar-04/5:21 AM Reply

Thanks for the links, I have been unable to find anything about 'Indefinite space' other than the review sited , but I have bookmarked the NHI site and will take a further look.

[9] zodiac › richa 2-Mar-04/9:53 AM Reply

INDEFINITE SPACE (Specialized: style/experimental), P.O. Box 40101, Pasadena CA, 91114. Established 1992. Editor Marcia Arrieta.
Magazine Needs: Indefinite Space appears annually. Wants experimental, visual, minimalistic poetry. Does not want rhyming poetry(!) Recently published poetry by Lisa Fishman, Dan Campion, Jeffrey Little, Craig Hill, W.B. Keckler, and Rob Cook. Indefinite Space is 36 pages, digest-sized, with b&w art. Single copy: $6; subscription $10/2 issues. Sample: $6. Make checks payable to Marcia Arrieta.
How to Submit: Accepts simultaneous submissions; no previously published poems. No fax, e-mail, or disk submissions. Seldom comments on rejected poems. Guidelines available for SASE. Resonds in up to 3 months. Copyright retained by poets.
(Thanks to Poet's Market 2004. Another great great resource is The International Directory of Little Magazines & Small Presses, by Dustbooks - it gives more information on what each possible publisher wants.)