| Re: midnight, on a weekday by peaceseeker |
13-Aug-03/5:42 AM |
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i enojoy the amount of anxiety and the kind of tumbling of words that seems to come from having no breaks.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Aug-03/5:44 AM |
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i would find this clicheed, except that you used the word "Ironadoxical" (made up, more correctly, i suppose :)), and just the general fact that you use your words well.
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| Re: Molecular Parasitology Nerdcore Rap by Retaliate |
13-Aug-03/5:45 AM |
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Ha! i like it, if only because i'm still laughing.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Aug-03/5:47 AM |
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It's the shape of the poem that i like...
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Aug-03/11:53 AM |
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Honest but thoughtful. Or should that be honest and thoughtful? i like the additions in parentheses.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Aug-03/11:54 AM |
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i love this one, only--who is it about? A news story? It's frightening, in a way. Or at least spooky.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
13-Aug-03/11:19 PM |
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This is the most personal of your poems i've seen--again, i'm always curious of your circumstances when you're writing....
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| Re: Burning your desert down by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
30-Aug-03/3:22 PM |
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the second stanza, with the "none to see" didn't fit in my head, but the imagery is beautiful. the idea is beautiful.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
30-Aug-03/3:25 PM |
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If i were to be picky (which i have to right to be, i'd take out the oops, it sort of demeans what you're trying to say. Other than that, :)
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| Re: justly now included by A. Nomaly |
1-Sep-03/11:00 PM |
for some reason, i love love the fact that the spanish rhymes so well. Nicely done.
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| Re: Vest by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? |
6-Sep-03/11:18 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
6-Sep-03/11:19 AM |
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i like this because it made me squirm.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Sep-03/8:00 PM |
Some of this makes me think of you talking about your brother: "how to work/when your face is before me?" and"The quiet mirrored in your face". This seems less crafted, less chosen than most of what i've seen, with the exception of "scratchy..."
Some of it also feels like an echo (Hamlet quote!), or echos itself, but that can't be helped in a collection of vignettes.
It is refreshing, i did enjoy the show.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Sep-03/8:06 PM |
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i find the message very important, and very resonant, but i miss the...umm...the word i'm looking for is not exactly mysticism, but maybe the...ambiguousness of your other poems? "Pinochet himself reveals the public to him"--i found that chilling, though.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
14-Sep-03/8:10 PM |
Here i am, as promised. After reading everything else you've written, this seems very formal.
i enjoy the Shakespearean-ness of it all, and it's very well planned, but somehow it doesn't speak as much to me as some of your "Notes" did.
Maybe today's just not my day for deliberate :)
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Oct-03/10:05 PM |
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Being terrible at art (me) and enjoying your style gives this a 9 for rhyme!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
8-Oct-03/10:09 PM |
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This feels very real, makes me envy the upbringing of your son. But why does every one of your poems have poop or pee in it?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
9-Oct-03/7:30 AM |
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Your mention of the shadow (as has been mentioned) is very effective, but for some reason, i wasn't as fond of your description of the eyes. It seemed too clicheed. Other than that, though, i liked it very much.
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| Re: Horus's Musical Instrument of Torment by Y2kSlamPoet |
9-Oct-03/7:32 AM |
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Yes!Egyptian Mythology! Although it's probably about something else! Yes!
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| Re: salt and celibacy by calliope |
15-Oct-03/3:20 PM |
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i like how it feels in my mouth.
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