| Re: a comment on Malcontent by EAger to Offend |
2-Aug-03/12:01 PM |
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Uniquity is a George W. word.
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| Re: A Dreamers Cookery: Cosmic Gardener [edited] by SupremeDreamer |
2-Aug-03/11:58 AM |
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Yeah! You left out an apostrophe in "mother earth's womb."
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| Re: marriage by bearhead |
2-Aug-03/11:55 AM |
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Good job, I like the way the shift from happiness to doom seems so quick, like in real life marriages. I don't think "knell" works there as knell is a kind of sound more than something you can ring. Saying smile and smiling two lines in a row was a little too close together.
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| Re: marlon by bearhead |
2-Aug-03/11:49 AM |
"This crazy dance holds all
The flavor of bananas."
I like this line, but think you should come up with a more specific adjective than "crazy" before dance.
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| Re: Malcontent by EAger to Offend |
2-Aug-03/11:40 AM |
Nice job. I like the flow except this one part:
"Taken good care of
by politics called "love"
retarded defectives and
mutants can rise above"
Did you mean incestors or insistors- I could see how either might fit in.
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| Re: a comment on Memoirs II by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Aug-03/9:08 AM |
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I did notice, but I didn't comment on you and your daughter's "touching" moment, did I? "Some of her friends are ethnics" etc. My French Catholic father-in-law is named Leroy, and I, being from the South, never in my life met a Black person named Leroy.
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| Re: I Hate Andy Jeon by JoyLuck |
1-Aug-03/7:38 AM |
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| Re: A Lack of Care by William J. Mitchell |
1-Aug-03/7:33 AM |
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I had just figured out what you were doing in the first and second stanzas with the first word when you switched back to the more linear form. I think if you are going to go with that interesting style you should go all the way. But, I wouldn't necessarily advise you going with the style of the 1st and 2nd stanzas- too annoying to read. The message is good.
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Aug-03/7:21 AM |
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Thanks. Six fingers all of her life, or six fingers at birth? I might need to work this in. Was it one of those little stubby deformities with a bone but no joints that is about the size of a section of one of the other fingers, or what?
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Aug-03/7:18 AM |
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You are so cold. She came, so why not groan in dismount? Moan is too obvious, plus, this is sleep induced sex (with no "rubards" involved, "sweaty pie"), so she's freaking tired!
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
1-Aug-03/7:15 AM |
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Thanks for the feedback, I'll have to change that around to clarify. The cat wasn't supposed to be the catalyst of the dismount, instead, the lovers came, and then as the narrator dismounted, the cat's sleeping place was disturbed (but I wanted to end with the dismount, not the cat).
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| Re: We'll be Louvers and shade by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
31-Jul-03/8:34 PM |
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You better tell me what "rubards" are! The suspense is killing me. I keep thinking rhubarb, but I guess I am just hungry. Your poetry is as sweet as rhubarb.
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
31-Jul-03/8:07 PM |
Oh, I guess you didn't. I thought I read a comment by you saying you went to art school in Rhode Island (RI School of Design = RISD). MECA is another art school, and school acronyms don't count, cast your acronym judgment on someone who speaks in those ridiculous email abbreviations like "wtf" -those are evil, lazy, and useless and deserve any wrath you can muster.
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| Re: something by sk8rs_rule_all |
31-Jul-03/7:49 PM |
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Cidering season starts after fall's first frost. What are the cons to cidering?
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| Re: black by sk8rs_rule_all |
31-Jul-03/7:19 PM |
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a con-fornication (or a conformation) between father and son?
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| Re: We'll be Louvers and shade by <{Baba^Yaga}> |
31-Jul-03/7:16 PM |
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"rubards?" That's the onliest word I couldn't translate. Nice mix of Bible pronouns and teenage misspellings. I was crying by the time I got to "sweaty pie".
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
31-Jul-03/7:09 PM |
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Thanks for the detailed feedback, I used it in the revision.
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
31-Jul-03/7:00 PM |
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Don't worry about my hairy legs, I get more than you do. Nice research though, I guess I should be honored that you'd feel compelled to know more about the writer. You must not live in Maine, because hairy legs are a way of life (we need the extra hair for the winters). Have you not admired the sexy pit hair of a certain drag queen rock and roll star named "Hedwig"? Did you/do you really go to RISD and not see (and accept) hairyfied women? I used to work at MECA, and I saw nothing but.
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| Re: a comment on I, Ann Boleyn by http://mulberryfairy |
31-Jul-03/6:53 PM |
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You must've been invisioning the Henry VIII perspective of things.
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| Re: Oxywarmonger by poetandknowit |
31-Jul-03/6:51 PM |
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Call 774-HELP! The government's provoked another brief delusional disorder! 10
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