Re: Something's gone wrong by zodiac	4-Feb-04/9:55 PM
Oh, another thing which I failed to mention earlier: Its not really much of a pimple.. other than the subject having a romantic context, it is devoid of mis-spelling, trite rhyme schemes, poor use of language, crude humor, and other characteristics usually found in most pimple poems. It's pretty much a very decent free verse poem, atleast to me.
Re: The Weight of Words and the Meaning in the Wind by somemorepoetry	4-Feb-04/10:11 PM
Its looks like a theraputic journal entry. Could have used these title(s) instead: "A patients written letter of grievance to his therapist" (or: 'infantile contempt for ones salaried shrink')
Re: To A Streetchild by Sam	4-Feb-04/11:07 PM
It's melancholic and padded- over all it has little to offer (to me atleast). It's also redundant and doesn't evolve into a work of real subtance. No offense, its just my take on it. Blessed with five.
Re: Lisa's Song by horus8	12-Feb-04/1:07 AM
-as our tunnel ends with train- with train? "with a train"? I'm confused. ;/ But other than that, sound cool- when are you going to make the mp3? Blessed with ten.
regarding some deleted poem...	12-Feb-04/3:09 AM
You could really improve this piece I think. You've drawn the outlines and lightly colored the edges... Give your creation some spicin electric life-colors from the psychedelic rainbow, would ya? Please? Blessed with five.
Re: Nowhere but now by phbiscuit	12-Feb-04/3:14 AM
I like the poem.. but not the linebreaks.. Might I suggest linebreaking it this way?: ____ Nowhere but now here with these last few hours and this setting sun by the drinking trees soaking the breath and the minutes like water for life falling and failing these summer-soft moments throwing us back to the grass-bed holding on where we know we will never be again with dew drops growing beside and beneath the forms we have sunk into the bent-sole grass for these last few failing hours. ---- Blessed with eight.
regarding some deleted poem...	15-Feb-04/11:20 PM
Honestly? I don't think this would be a good song... You could have done better. Blessed with three.
Re: Wanderlust (1st Draft) by andrewjthomas	16-Feb-04/3:41 PM
Quite good.. I think you could compact this and concentrate on the last two stanzas; I believe they have the most impact, the rest seems like filler-- but there are some nice parts which are worth remaking. Just some suggestions/opinions, do whatever you like with it-- just don't get offended, whats the point? Blessed with nine.
regarding some deleted poem...	16-Feb-04/4:02 PM
Beautiful. Heres a well deserved ten.
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	16-Feb-04/4:23 PM
Editing suggestions? Cmon now, we are talking about a fucking massive amount of material here-- so to keep it simple perhaps you should break this up into several poems? This piece as one entire poem is a short novella; then theres the linebreaks ofcourse... its seems a little random, and just about midway through the piece it seems like you suddenly abandoned putting form to your blank-verse all-together. Other than the length, I enjoyed all of it (most of it anyway, there is ALOT of IT.. and my brain can only digest so much information at once.) Blessed with ten.
Re: Brother by andrewjthomas	16-Feb-04/4:45 PM
It was a joy reading this poem. There isn't anything here that bothered me; perfect write, except I'd change the linebreaks-- but honestly now, every poet has his way of applying pressure on the space bar. (What were you trying to accomplish exactly with the peculiar way you've inserted the line-breaks? How were you trying present the poem?) Blessed with ten.
Re: Zodiac's Visit to Micky D's by Oej-Oej	11-Mar-04/8:36 PM
Whats this supposed to be? A parody? Its funny, a good joke, but its lacking.. since your description of zodiacs personality is purely fictional.. and has little relation to zodiac. But its an amusing piece never-the-less, thats worth an eight.
Re: A brief history in destruction by mindsigns	13-Mar-04/6:23 AM
Brainwashing... genius.. pure genius.. soon enough we will be celebrating "Suicide Day".
Re: Sometimes it Hurts... by mindsigns	13-Mar-04/6:25 AM
soap-opera mini-serie? If only Jesus could bestow his vengeance upon thee..
Re: Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT	13-Mar-04/7:57 AM
Well, its not bad, but it isn't something that gets my juices boilin either.. the moment conveyed might be the problem, or.. ah whatever. It is worthy of my vile score of seven in any case.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-04/8:20 AM
Is this some sort of Gardening Riddle or enigma? lol. You receive my vile score of eight.
regarding some deleted poem...	13-Mar-04/2:12 PM
cmon, as the rankerville jester i must disagree with that ole "suffering in public with a constant smile" bit.. and its comes off as cliche, as does most of the rest. blessed with six.
Re: Woman in the purple cotton jacket(repaired) by INTRANSIT	13-Mar-04/3:20 PM
Actually.. that does work better lol. blessed with eight.
Re: Sitting in a damp refrigerator box, wondering (ODE) Basque by zodiac	30-Mar-04/5:11 AM
Oh my.. indeed this is something I will cherish, a tonic of chuckles and depraved humor that feeds a weary & idle mind such as my own, causing it to vibrate in a universe-spliting surge of imaginative enjoyment... I do so love the wonders of a decent & dark parody. :) Blessed with ten.
Re: Bread Wine And Chocolate by Caducus	30-Mar-04/5:44 AM
I love this.. it fills me with an uncordial envy, and shame for not having come close to producing such a wicked & mighty haiku.. but worry not, I shall endure and soon enough my vile emotions will pass, beginning my mission to create a haiku to match yours, or atleast bring me closer to my "Golden Haiku from Satan". Blessed with ten.