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Sometimes it Hurts... (Free verse) by mindsigns
i have a funny feeling whenever the wind blows i get butterflies constantly and when you lie beside me at night i speak my mind like i never really could before all my woes and unwashed clothes my pains and joys and middle of the night noise hardly touched wine and true love where you lie.

Up the ladder: Hinged
Down the ladder: SHADOWS OF DARKNESS

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Arithmetic Mean: 4.25
Weighted score: 4.910598
Overall Rank: 9555
Posted: February 8, 2003 7:28 AM PST; Last modified: March 13, 2004 6:14 AM PST
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Comments:
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.165.191 | 13-Mar-04/6:25 AM | Reply
soap-opera mini-serie? If only Jesus could bestow his vengeance upon thee..
[8] zodiac @ 67.240.155.123 | 13-Mar-04/7:26 AM | Reply
I have a funny feeling you started writing this as a non-rhyming poem and ended up by just making amateurish couplets, which makes this poem the epitome of hackness times two for being inconsistent. If you actually did mean for 'blows' to rhyme with 'clothes', 'mind' to go with 'wine', and 'lie' and 'night' to have some association, then please ignore pretty much all of the foregoing and congratulations on some really clever writing. Oh, and this poem could really benefit from being properly punctuated and capitalized and from having some cliches (like the last line) de-cliched.
[0] SupremeDreamer @ 204.31.171.118 > zodiac | 13-Mar-04/8:03 AM | Reply
What ever happened to mixing pseudo-romance and farting as big No-No, rhymes & cliche aside? Maybe theres hope in using farts in a haiku about ass-licking.. as sick as that sounds.. its just more promising than the above poem.
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