zodiac13 Mar 2004

I have a funny feeling you started writing this as a non-rhyming poem and ended up by just making amateurish couplets, which makes this poem the epitome of hackness times two for being inconsistent. If you actually did mean for 'blows' to rhyme with 'clothes', 'mind' to go with 'wine', and 'lie' and 'night' to have some association, then please ignore pretty much all of the foregoing and congratulations on some really clever writing. Oh, and this poem could really benefit from being properly punctuated and capitalized and from having some cliches (like the last line) de-cliched.