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The Weight of Words and the Meaning in the Wind (Free verse) by somemorepoetry
Under the traintracks By an old box of Marlboro's I'll find something to read There's a story through the thunder That I'm dying to tell Except that I'm a close whisper Cowering with these pictures Painted on my mind By summers when we were Tall grass Waving in the wind Easy and free Now I feel heavy Beneath these stones A single blade curling Through gravel Towards the shaking day With a shovel I'll find you Going downward Since you cannot see Don't sit quiet there Laugh when I tell a joke Cry when I say something sad There's nothing in a story Unless you react We'll grow together Until these tracks crack and fall apart Then we'll be free again Swaying softly Letting our stories Be the wind

Down the ladder: Divine

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.8333335
Weighted score: 5.493059
Overall Rank: 2788
Posted: February 4, 2004 6:56 PM PST; Last modified: February 4, 2004 6:56 PM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Bachus @ 24.126.116.54 | 4-Feb-04/8:42 PM | Reply
When I read your title, I went "Oh God".

When I read your poem, I went "Oh God", and farted.

But it was then when you told the story "through the thunder" was right about the time that I realized... We've made love in our past life... If not several hundred times. Like the incessant rain pounding the dusty gravel of the high desert. Bringing the dry river beds to a seething surge of brown flood water with swimming animals and drunk people standing on the hoods of their cars.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ 69.19.176.24 | 4-Feb-04/10:11 PM | Reply
Its looks like a theraputic journal entry. Could have used these title(s) instead:

"A patients written letter of grievance to his therapist" (or: 'infantile contempt for ones salaried shrink')
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.155.26 | 5-Feb-04/4:54 AM | Reply
My girl died of causes venereal, /
(Well, let's say the disease wasn't aerial!) /
If you don't mind infection, /
I've let out her rectum /
To pay for a good Christian burial. /
[n/a] Goad @ 213.61.217.3 > zodiac | 5-Feb-04/6:54 AM | Reply
Fuck'n A.
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.192.30 > Goad | 5-Feb-04/7:01 AM | Reply
Morning, Goad. I will before I leave here get one of the -=D_A=-s to comment on a poem of mine. By the way, what was the one of yours you wanted me to excoriate? And are you posting today?
[n/a] lastobelus @ 213.61.217.3 > zodiac | 5-Feb-04/9:07 AM | Reply
Top o' t' mornin' t'ya. Today I am working with AppleScript and QuarkXPress. If you're not familiar with those products, you can just read them as "hot branding iron" and "down my fucking throat". So I won't be writing any poetry as I will be too busy wrapping iron bands around my head to keep it from exploding with frustration as I restart the frickin' Mac every 5 minutes.

due for excoriation: Blue Fuckin' Moon, by lastobelus
http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=44460
[9] zodiac @ 67.240.155.40 > lastobelus | 5-Feb-04/9:20 AM | Reply
AppleScript? QuarkExpress? I'm so fucking glad I don't have a real career. You want to know what really bites? I live in a big log cabin deep in some mountain woods. It's almost 1pm here (that's 13.00 to you) and I'm in the flannel pants I slept in, drinking my third Red Stripe of the day and casually perusing political satire sites. My wife's beating her brains out against the bony foreheads of autistic teenagers but I, thankfully, have no classes for the rest of the week. I might go to my band practice tonight and get stoned, but otherwise THIS IS ALL I WILL DO ALL DAY.
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