| Re: ~Witchcraft~ by Lenore |
28-Jul-02/5:03 PM |
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hi , i'm sure this works as a spell but the rhythm and rhymed form tries to hurry me urgently along while i need to linger on the images .... found that a bit unsettling . but created a nice picture at the end
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| Re: Ode to Thomas by RosiePosie |
28-Jul-02/5:13 PM |
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sorry rosieposie but yuck ! the truth and sanctity of your destiny needs more careful presentation for an audience of poets
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| Re: Clit by unknown |
28-Jul-02/5:21 PM |
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| Re: The Price by Bluesee |
28-Jul-02/5:33 PM |
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| Re: The Gravity of Love by april fool |
29-Jul-02/11:50 AM |
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.. somewhat prudish methinks , and the one without the other would make for a cold marriage
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jul-02/11:57 AM |
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the second stanza would stand by itself with the african gravity balancing a weak ending ... seems like the form overpowers the words
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| Re: In my weakest hour, I find my true strength by Rainbow_chaser |
29-Jul-02/12:09 PM |
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... you're a rainbow .... some editing may be in order perhaps ? scansion and suchlike
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| Re: minute by flatliner |
29-Jul-02/12:11 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
29-Jul-02/12:24 PM |
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.... didn't really give us/them much to hate you for .....
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| Re: The Shining City by ErgoErgun |
29-Jul-02/2:16 PM |
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the original was freedom from and ( mis- )translated as freedom to ..... just a thought ..... :)
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| Re: My Angel by mytenderrage |
29-Jul-02/5:02 PM |
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and fluffy clouds even .... my gosh !
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| Re: In my weakest hour, I find my true strength by Rainbow_chaser |
29-Jul-02/5:38 PM |
okay ... it's a concept akin ro rhyme which is more of a slave-master than is meter ... making the sounds fit the syllables .... just think it needs a rewrite
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| Re: I never Knew..... by SkateBoardGurl5799 |
10-Aug-02/2:36 PM |
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.... would be good if it meant something ...
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| Re: life sucks sometimes..ditto by New Life Drug |
10-Aug-02/2:44 PM |
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.life don't suck,it blows,from stranger quarters than you can possibly know ; self pity doesn't do it , wait a few years til you pity the world then top yourself because of guilt... anyhow, what happened ?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Aug-02/7:13 AM |
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as a child of the sixties you should know better than to give headspace to what "they" say about "god" . laughed at the punchline but reckoned it would have worked better as a haiku ( too long an inconsequential build-up (imho)
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| Re: BEGINNINGS by kawakurdi |
11-Aug-02/7:17 AM |
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slaves do certainly think and zero came along way after big numbers ... some good images .."cold oven" i like
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
12-Aug-02/1:34 PM |
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kind of nice if meant as a mature ironic comment on man's thinking with his dick and presenting as soul .. otherwise if you're about 14-15 not a bad effort at all .. i take it you checked dark angel's 3 am poem ... spot the difference ... and similarities !
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| Re: Lost Dreams by DirtyKurtsGurl |
12-Aug-02/1:42 PM |
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first 4 lines are brilliant almost rocking but then wimps out into muzak
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| Re: Something Strong by Kriss |
12-Aug-02/1:55 PM |
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i dunno where p&k it gets off rubbishing your work ; just read the juvenile garbage he ( i assume ) writes . BUT imho it's not very good. Zinnai66 said it all ... keep on keeping on
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| Re: The Girl Who Wasn't Me by psychedelic |
12-Aug-02/2:09 PM |
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you are indeed alone but i wonder why acid-awareness doesn't make this joyful
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