Re: One Summer by [mojo]	25-Jul-02/1:05 PM
the first stanza really rocked but i kinda lost the rhythm in the second
Re: The First Proper Evening of Summer by [mojo]	25-Jul-02/1:11 PM
yeah ... the last two lines or three negated feelings of ? irritation ? at awkwardness ..compatable as a whole seemed to grate til i started with that line as a new breath/beat .. is that why there is a comma after seems in the previous line ?
Re: Little Miss Ogyny by [mojo]	25-Jul-02/1:15 PM
the thought is a gem but as poetry didn't quite work for me except as a springboard for further thoughts
Re: older sister by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:28 PM
genius move putting it all on one line and forcing the scroll ...a true web-poem ....
Re: ungle stop by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:37 PM
leave it be if nothing else happens and talk to him when you are an adult and to one or two close friends if you are still a child ......hth.....:-)
Re: to my best friend david by wowzers718	25-Jul-02/1:47 PM
the depth of feeling in your stuff is amazing but there's something about love poems that gets a bit yucky ..... very difficult to do without a poetic meta-structure ... so to speak :-\ ...unless i missed it .... a low mark with love
regarding some deleted poem...	25-Jul-02/1:51 PM
'course we do , and it's all you need .. ditto as before :-)
Re: Decisions by x311	25-Jul-02/4:07 PM
.... nah , carry on writing ... it's gotta be done ...
Re: Hate Me by lucky_cmc	25-Jul-02/4:20 PM
... yeah ....right ! ... nice if done to a rap rhythm
Re: Tangled by mikeyh53581	25-Jul-02/4:23 PM
..... mandolin accompaniment , perhaps ; beneath a balcony
Re: diving by keatsImnot	26-Jul-02/4:23 AM
the first two and a half lines made me laugh with its superposition of image forms (...screaming tranquility at us )..
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jul-02/4:35 AM
...try doing it without rhyme .. see how it works .
regarding some deleted poem...	26-Jul-02/4:38 AM
. somewhat americocentric ... try broadening the area of global moral culpability ... :-)
Re: The ONE by Eline	26-Jul-02/4:51 AM
too many cliches following one from the other .... one per stanza would suffice :\
regarding some deleted poem...	27-Jul-02/4:46 PM
responding to: ------------- Is there a way that writers can respond to comments made about their poems. ditto to that...respose please . ta
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jul-02/6:16 AM
responding to: ------------- if you're looking at your poem's details, there should be a link to "reply". duh!...thanx
Re: Zen by gothwalk	28-Jul-02/6:42 AM
the tao which is the tao is not the tao(iambic pentameter)
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jul-02/8:51 AM
... but excellent in parts ...
Re: Me and the Darkness by aurora	28-Jul-02/4:53 PM
..... still , mustn't grumble eh ! ... the old human condition doncha know ... :-)