Re: Final Comment by dougsoderstrom	20-Jun-03/6:50 AM
Don't go, Doug. We need more people like you on this site who take things seriously, not less. And your George Bush limericks were excellent.
Re: Theology by dougsoderstrom	20-Jun-03/6:56 AM
Doug, come back. This reminds me a little in style of the mighty Hugh MacDiarmid, although not in content (he was a militant communist). It is a densely packed, intelligent poem, desperately striving against its own limitations to find salvation. Needs more work, but well done.
regarding some deleted poem...	20-Jun-03/7:00 AM
I think this tries a little to hard to achieve its effects. The attempt to mix poignant images with a harder edge doesn't quite come off, but I like it anyway. And insomnia is fucking awful. You get to the point you're scared of going to bed because you think you won't get to sleep.
Re: Pilgrimage by Christof	11-Aug-03/2:21 AM
Very atmospheric. I guess the movement from a bridlepath to a TV represents a move from nature to mechanisation, from reality to depiction. Something about the rhythm makes me expect some more rhyming, which doesn't come, thus confounding my expectations. Which is an excellent thing to do.
Re: On Haiku by heart	11-Aug-03/2:26 AM
Surely you could have an iambic haiku (although not one in nice Shakespearean pentameters). Well, sort of. It could go like this: Life is to short to burn our boats. We sit and dream of moats and views and. Problem is you have an odd number of syllables, so you're always going to have an uncompleted foot at the end. Note this example uses only words of one syllable.
Re: Happiness & Old Age by Caducus	11-Aug-03/3:19 AM
Gravy is beautiful. I make it out of a packet, but it ain't the same.
Re: Happiness & Old Age by Caducus	11-Aug-03/3:19 AM
Gravy is beautiful. I make it out of a packet, but it ain't the same.
regarding some deleted poem...	14-Aug-03/3:44 AM
This reminds me of the great Scottish poet Hugh MacDiarmid, who wrote poems full of technical details. Or maybe Ezra Pound. Except they were geniuses, and you probably aren't. But I like the bit at the end about identity theft - did you know that somebody could go through your dustbin, steal an old bank statement and use the information to completely bugger your credit rating?
Re: *******Perfect***** by Mona Lisa	14-Aug-03/3:47 AM
This is a pretty, but essentially vapid haiku. Which the fate of most haiku writers, unfortunately. But it flows nicely and works well. By the way, I've never been to Cirencester, but the name makes it sound a most beguiling place.
Re: drought on talkin river by richa	14-Aug-03/3:52 AM
I like this a lot, there's a pleasing lyricism about it and yet the drought suggests a hint of evil beneath the surface. The final image of the gospel is powerful, suggesting the importance of light in the creation of the earth.
Re: My Back Fat by charlie busted	26-Aug-03/3:34 AM
This is fucking awful. And I hate busted. Especially the tall one. They should be put in a maximum security prison where they will be forced to sleep with the light on every night of their lives.
Re: Mercury by david	28-Aug-03/2:46 AM
What does gravid mean?
regarding some deleted poem...	1-Sep-03/5:47 AM
There is a thin line between imbecility and genius. But you're nowhere near it, just cast adrift on a sea of foolishness.
Re: Why Stay? by LuckyJoe	1-Sep-03/5:51 AM
Interesting. Are the numerous grammatical errors an attempt at capturing the mindset of an inarticulate character, or can you just not type properly. I like the rousing ending.
Re: Ohio's Dirty Natives by Fear of Garbage	1-Sep-03/5:56 AM
I really like parts of this. I've never been to Ohio, but it sounds interesting. It's good to see people attempting social commentary, particularly in such an obtuse way. The second verse, which is more about the narrator, isn't as striking as the first.
Re: Where are my Spectacles? by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	6-Sep-03/4:37 AM
Sardonic brilliance. But surely the correct word is 'cheseemonger', not 'cheesesmith'? I hate it when I drop my glasses and I can't see them because my eyesight is shit.
Re: Vest by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	6-Sep-03/4:38 AM
Hmm. Not as good as the last one. But references to tall hills are to be encouraged.
Re: A Lovely Surprise by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?	6-Sep-03/4:40 AM
Unpleasant. Have you ever thought that you are stuck in what Freud described as the anal-fixation stage?
regarding some deleted poem...	6-Sep-03/4:41 AM
Excellent. The well should stay.
Re: Lets Do Lunch (At Ground Zero) by scitz	11-Sep-03/7:58 AM
This is not clever, not funny, but anti-semitic. We don't need bullshit like this on poemranker.