Re: Can you believe this piece of shit was #1? by horus8	23-Jul-03/6:04 PM
ah, the weak hand. that's the sort of thing that chicks do not think about. have a 9 day.
Re: A Student in Descent by EAger to Offend	23-Jul-03/9:29 PM
nice and lusty, mr eager. i might change 11th grade to "seventeen", just because.
Re: Voluptuous, Blonde Bird-Woman by http://mulberryfairy	23-Jul-03/10:20 PM
watch for the, feathers, they get stuck in your teeth.
Re: Christs Harlot by Don-Quixote	24-Jul-03/11:52 AM
harlot.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jul-03/12:17 PM
niiice.
regarding some deleted poem...	24-Jul-03/12:21 PM
well, she is from Maine.
Re: The Frey by Southern_Bell	25-Jul-03/7:28 AM
the line spacing here is awkward. run spell check. if you're going to use a made-up word, justify it, dammit! POEMS DON'T NEED TO RHYME!!! other than that, good try!
Re: Jaded by Caducus	25-Jul-03/7:45 AM
Cad--the last line needs work. it should be stronger, especially after the tone of the song.
Re: Jaded by Caducus	25-Jul-03/8:09 AM
better, but i have to say that the thing that struck me most the first time through was her pulling on your hair. that would make for a more memorable chorus than jealousy. just my opiniom, though... :)
Re: Departing Suburbia by Caducus	25-Jul-03/8:19 AM
cad-- a few nitpicks: starved cravings--redundant ‘lets do lunch' bunch flow chart obssesives--corrected punctuation nice lines here: Sell a common man a common dream, Weave the fabric of society in to his seam,
Re: Candles by goddessbyfire	27-Jul-03/8:35 AM
gothtothemaxxxx
Re: Part II:Rhetoric by http://bandgeek	28-Jul-03/9:07 AM
yep. it's the AA ones i know, or even worse, the codas, who can't even have their own addiction, so they have to piggyback someone else's.
Re: Gods Musician: Grave Digger by SupremeDreamer	28-Jul-03/9:21 AM
too many metaphors here, fighting each other.
Re: Octopussed by <{Baba^Yaga}>	28-Jul-03/5:31 PM
8, for the legs now floating, dead.
regarding some deleted poem...	28-Jul-03/9:09 PM
flying, eating, purging, again. more. again.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jul-03/12:32 AM
we are all watching, you.
Re: Some die waiting, or laugh forgetting by Shardik	29-Jul-03/7:11 AM
nice one. alittle wrinkle here and there, but i felt it.
Re: Robotic Plague by bon	29-Jul-03/8:24 AM
this is nice: The melodies we sang that compensate fond aches but you do try me with the rest of those phrases strung garishly together to beat upon my consciousness
Re: How it should have happened by INTRANSIT	29-Jul-03/8:29 AM
save the last stanza. cut the rest. the last is the only one where you say what you really mean. maybe the problem is that you don't want to be honest with yourself in your poetry. maybe that is why you always abstract the meaning, hiding it in your own personal labyrinth.
regarding some deleted poem...	29-Jul-03/11:39 AM
why don't you ever put flesh on these bones? words are sumptuous, voluptuous, seductive. but you miser them away--have you a horde hidden somewhere, and will you spill it, someday?