The Frey

Member since 2003 · Posted 24 Jul 2003 · 7 comments

Night gently falls Upon the fortress walls As the wind Wispers ... night descends I sit watching As the creature comes lurking I'm not prey For I'm the master of that frey I only comand This creature from the distant land The creature purrs And is covered in black, sable fur The powerful muscles Riple and are as big as trussels Sleek and silent The creature moves, catching your sent With unnatural grace It pounces and you meet face to face A soft gasp Comes forth as you feel It's grasp Oh what delight As your new love takes flight For It is Your panther and no more can be said.

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mean 6.00 weighted 5.27 rank 3811 views 173 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

7 comments

[7] richa 24-Jul-03/11:42 PM Reply

quite sweet, I like the flow

some of the rhymes seem a bit forced though

[n/a] Southern_Bell › richa 24-Jul-03/11:46 PM Reply

thanks. i know i tried to rhyme the best i could. hehe. i will get it right some day. ; )

[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos 25-Jul-03/12:51 AM Reply

A blow gun on killing monkeys for soup.

[6] http://mulberryfairy 25-Jul-03/6:58 AM Reply

It is hard for us old folks' eyes to focus when we have to keep scrolling down because the lines are so far apart. Maybe a one line space between would do.

[5] <~> 25-Jul-03/7:28 AM Reply

the line spacing here is awkward. run spell check. if you're going to use a made-up word, justify it, dammit!
POEMS DON'T NEED TO RHYME!!!

other than that, good try!

[8] cyan9 19-Jan-06/1:37 AM Reply

The double line spaces add massively to the piece, drumming up suspence ... an enjoyable piece. The trussels line is a bit odd though, Im not even sure what they are, but they dont seem to quite blend in with this dark romancing poem.

[4] zodiac 19-Jan-06/8:11 AM Reply

Frey is a disgraced memoirist. You mean fray.