| regarding some deleted poem... |
19-Feb-05/1:54 AM |
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I am only as far as you imagine me to be.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
23-Feb-05/7:47 PM |
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Iron town, is a name for a prison, none in specific, just like the joint, the slammer, the iron town. I wouldn't say anything but... it was kind of the point of the, I've served my time, line.
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| Re: Ode by James Rykelangeli |
27-Feb-05/8:07 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Feb-05/8:28 PM |
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If your the spider am I the fly? For if so I must tell you that I am not defenceless. But I will drift toward your web despite myself. Watch me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
28-Feb-05/8:31 PM |
You turn my words against me so well.
<3 Jason
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| Re: So I Hear by Vince Dolamando |
5-Mar-05/2:12 AM |
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"to quit" not "to quite". Other than that, ace. -8-
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| Re: Fat girls Who Wear Short Skirts During Winter Quarter by DurtKL |
8-Mar-05/2:37 PM |
Whats sad is its true, but funny none the less, welcome back.
<3 Jason
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| Re: eat what you want. by burgerking33 |
8-Mar-05/8:43 PM |
And you bother to write poetry because? Your sister dared you? You thought that somehow you'd develop a skill for it that no knew you possed? Or you were way too bored?
Whatever the reason, stop. Your not good at it, and if think this is good than I pity you, and say, read some lyrics from the music you listen to. Because if you at least read the words of people using things like similes, and metaphors, you might actually have come here with something better that looks like a poem. -0- I see no artistic value in this what so ever. Much less your praising yourself before anyone else read your words(All though whether you knew it or not at the time it was smart, because I doubt mainy other people will).
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| Re: Disfigure by DevilBuni |
8-Mar-05/8:47 PM |
Good sentiment, but it needs fleshed out. Nice name by the way. -7-
<3 Jason
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| Re: Attention: Superman's Coffee Break is From 1:35 to 1:37 by MacFrantic |
8-Mar-05/9:03 PM |
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| Re: Snow Sucks by JoyLuck |
8-Mar-05/9:08 PM |
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I love how all is by itself. -7-
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| Re: genious by the_poetess |
8-Mar-05/9:35 PM |
Genius, I believe the word you want is Genius, and I wouldn't call myself one until I could at least spell it. Yea... people do worry about saving the world. I imagine them to be able write with better depth than this though. You have the potential, if you trimmed what you had and fleshed it out properly to have a nice piece here. But as it is, its crap. I do however like the underlying Arrogant tone to this though. -3-
<3 Jason
P.S. You won't make many friend is life by dropping zeros on people and not at least leaving a reason why you thought the piece in question sucked.
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| Re: A Nation by the_poetess |
8-Mar-05/9:58 PM |
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lol, America coming undone? I like how you started this, but it was too long and detailed and I believe you lost your own point along the way. -7- Because there was some thought and attempts at being poetic here, but mainly because you did some of your homework. But mostly this comes off as the rantings of someone who thinks they understand whats going on in life, but in all actually doesn't.
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| Re: wishes by the_poetess |
8-Mar-05/10:12 PM |
I've read everything you've written up to date, and found two things. A) You need to use spell check. I tend to overlook a typo here or there(I mean come on they happen) but for the love of Buddha, save us the eyes strain. B) You can't be out of high school yet, are you? Your writting has the arrogant tone of someone who thinks they are a genius, but is still being taught. I'm guessing that you tend to read the materials during class, but fail to do the homework more often than not.
This is by far the most poetic (and best)thing you've written to date. -8-
<3 Jason
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Mar-05/3:13 PM |
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| Re: an unbiased voice (or the most biased one you'll hear) by i_am_the_popsicle |
11-Mar-05/3:34 PM |
Nice Bias, way to go you with eveness and balance. Now, do us all a favor, and add a few more points to your overall score by proof reading before you post. I didn't catch any spelling errors, but a crapload of inproper tense, and other bits that I had to decipher the lay of the text before they made sense. They really hurt this.
<3 Jason -7-
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| Re: The 8th Day by whispern_smoke_wisp |
11-Mar-05/3:53 PM |
Well they're going to kill me for revealing this but... Yes there is an 8th day. The thing is, its not a day with a night, and nice round even numbers. Haven't you ever noticed the extra hours that just seem to have slipped themselves between minutes. Those are the 8th day.
<3 Jason
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
11-Mar-05/3:59 PM |
Real verse, thank god. I was scaried they had outlawed it. A welcome change from the other crap I've browsed thru today. -10-
<3 Jason
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| Re: JJâs Church by Dovina |
16-Mar-05/10:58 AM |
What are you using as "substitutionary bread" in a bar? Pretzels?
Other than that(My own silly curious nature), good comparison.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
17-Mar-05/2:27 PM |
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lol. Much better writing. Incase you can't tell, I'm smiling alot as I write this. -10-
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