regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jan-03/7:56 PM
last image is wonderful but not nearly strong enough.
Re: Waking Up by PawnedTidal	7-Jan-03/7:57 PM
change the last fucking to motherfucking, it'll help the rythm.
Re: Inner Peace by god	7-Jan-03/7:57 PM
suckey suckey
Re: electronically by Quarton	7-Jan-03/7:59 PM
...and?? This poem says almost nothing other than that which is obvious. Yes, nothing other than. Keep workin' on it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
Re: terrorism and break dancing by w~* ATHENA *~w	7-Jan-03/7:59 PM
pretty boring, the title got my hopes up.
Re: I Love You!! by Babieflirt	7-Jan-03/8:00 PM
THIS SITE IS ONLY FOR SERIOUS POETS
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jan-03/8:02 PM
Read Faust and then parody it.
Re: Putney at Low Tide by Christof	7-Jan-03/8:09 PM
;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;//;;
Re: Shit happens by Bobjim the II	7-Jan-03/8:33 PM
Settle did it better with his balls haiku.
Re: The French Shark by -=SeTTle=-	7-Jan-03/8:42 PM
If you want to make me laugh, you're going to have to try a little harder than that. 0.
regarding some deleted poem...	7-Jan-03/9:08 PM
Writing this poem was the best idea u ever had
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-03/11:28 AM
1. Don't get hung up on the rhyme, it doesn't do much for this one. Just look at the final lines- The parts that don't rhyme (lines 2+3) hang together closer than 1+2. 2. Show more and tell less - perhaps show, personalize, give us something to relate to in the first part and than have a more didactic conclusion topped with a cherry like the last bit? I just wrote a 2 part love poem and although it lacks the clarity/says a lot less than this I think you might see what I'm talking about.8
Re: dumb ho by sir_heff	8-Jan-03/11:30 AM
You're an e short of the respect of poets worldwide. Liked it though. 7
Re: 9/11/2001 by MuDvAyNe	8-Jan-03/11:31 AM
ha ha. good one. 8
Re: **The Therapist** by scitz	8-Jan-03/11:33 AM
Fucking Marvelous. Great idea for a poem, decisively executed. I wish I'd thought of it first. But - a bit too angry, a bit too poetic. 8. I'd revise it
regarding some deleted poem...	8-Jan-03/11:35 AM
extend the metaphors. They'll become more vivid and serve your poem better if they aren't just used in one stanza and then forgotten. Butterflied flutter in packs of 1000s, they migrate, monarchs are gray under the loose pigment that covers their wings. Perhaps something there? Good work.
Re: You're the Only One by Chels85	8-Jan-03/11:36 AM
gldsdl Able aooe
Re: To Dark Angel by zagerXizer	9-Jan-03/12:29 PM
lol. asl?
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Jan-03/12:32 PM
I actually logged out to give you a zero. Here have another. 0 .
regarding some deleted poem...	9-Jan-03/12:32 PM
I actually logged out to give you a zero. Here have another. 0 .