| Re: and love, an envy by richa |
19-Jun-03/10:51 AM |
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The last two lines really cinch it up. Soil warm lips and hips I wager.
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| Re: a comment on Flat chested feeling by Tiggy (a welder II) by horus8 |
19-Jun-03/9:43 AM |
I am sorry Jeremi, but I'm to lazy to scroll, I had to remove your prawning, because, well, I've been forced to type with my teeth as of late, and one has only so many.
However, I've saved the prettiest one and here it is
praune.
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| Re: a comment on Flat chested feeling by Tiggy (a welder II) by horus8 |
19-Jun-03/9:28 AM |
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Daniella, I know you think -=D_A=- does it better, but I would contest that with my new edit I am gaining fast. I will also go on the record as saying. I am patient, and I am nucleur, I regenerate, and have a hide of scales way beyond Mithril, the strength of ten storm giants, the blood of angels, my tongue (well boggles the imagination), and I am also very young, and an autodidact. Victory will be mine. And if not, well, I will have learned a valuable lesson then now, wouldn't I have?
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| Re: To What Ends by daniella |
19-Jun-03/9:20 AM |
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Look again, carefully this time.
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| Re: a comment on Flat chested feeling by Tiggy (a welder II) by horus8 |
19-Jun-03/9:16 AM |
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Well, now it'll kill you. The knew edit is out of control.
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| Re: a comment on Hot Potato by Shardik |
19-Jun-03/8:50 AM |
A Ghazel (pronounced ghussel) is done a few different ways here's one way.
Melatonin III (The relapse) (Other) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
We aren't speaking again at some hole in the wall dive
My eyes burn like hell, and I'm out of cigarettes.
I can see through everyone, but the stale coffee;
As my hair falls out in clumps all through breakfast.
If there was a jukebox I would not low kick it
Out of bed, out of mind, and out of moments.
When you took my hand, I gave you them both bitch,
but your prayers are listless and fucking self-centered.
Your prayers are listless and completely self-centered.
I even bet that we'll end up doing lunch here again
On some other day, I won't care to vaguely remember.
Finding you, to me, was like a 3rd-degree-grease/burn
Sometimes, I wish I was as senseless as you try to be.
Heading back to those silos, and their gold bloody shucks
I can hear a tractor that needs an oil change real bad.
If by chance you purposely wake me before reveille
I hope you choke dead on that horn and die a winded mute.
Your music was my dream; Better left your Nightmare.
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| Re: Sex with a hairy brazilian by scitz |
18-Jun-03/10:36 AM |
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| Re: Sex with a hairy brazilian by scitz |
18-Jun-03/10:30 AM |
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| Re: Refulgent by INTRANSIT |
18-Jun-03/10:13 AM |
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| Re: a comment on My floss by Twiggy the second by horus8 |
18-Jun-03/10:11 AM |
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| Re: a comment on My floss by Twiggy the second by horus8 |
17-Jun-03/6:55 PM |
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Yes 'tis a mad cackle, I agree tee hee.
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| Re: Shut Up (Angry Progression) by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
17-Jun-03/4:32 PM |
"But the other half is smarter than that
Oh wait! Did I say that?" it's great up until here, than it pooters out. replace that with "You're lucky I'm on vacation" or something to that effect. It shows possibility and humor, both of which you need in a piece like this.
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| Re: Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT |
17-Jun-03/4:10 PM |
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ha! somebody 1 you, fucking bastards, pimple juiced your dockers!
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| Re: Claustrophobia by INTRANSIT |
17-Jun-03/4:08 PM |
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Ah yes, my cigerette, crushed by the bitch in red and high heels.
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| Re: a comment on The Contract (2nd draft) by scitz |
17-Jun-03/1:47 PM |
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Yes, it is, but use everything instead of infinity because infinity is just to afterlife for poets in the 'now'.
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| Re: The Contract (2nd draft) by scitz |
17-Jun-03/11:57 AM |
"Written from the quills of laughing Angels,
Who fuck our lives up because their bored." Lose this line, it's ridiculous, if you believe thjat you're insane. combine the word intransit, "It's" you have as its "a politician" change to in politicians, "insecurity" pluralize and "infinity" change to everything. Then, my friend, you'll have it.
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| Re: The Bastard Earth by Kitch |
17-Jun-03/11:51 AM |
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Did you read about the bishop in Phoenix, Arizona? Hit and run, drunk, (pedestrian) left the body there and went home with a shattered windshield...Coincidentaly, he was one of the kiddy foddler priests indicted last year, YES! Moments like these baby I just lick my lips red.
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| Re: The Bastard Earth by Kitch |
17-Jun-03/11:47 AM |
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Some really intense sections, but then you fumble, and on top of that it's fat, no sweat, all of my early work was fat too, better fat that skin for the winter is what I say, but an important point I can help you with here is try not to allow synthetic hate to warp your ideas, in other words, hate what you know for sure, then apply that to what you want and imagine thematicly, not vice versa, otherwise it comes out on the paper sounding like a flat can of cheese wiz and contrived. I see much promise here though, I want you to know that.
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| Re: Blue Tarp by hotwire |
17-Jun-03/11:41 AM |
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A wolf in sheeps clothing. sucker, but a brilliant pimple poem none the less have siete and shoe
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| Re: An Invitation From Poetry.com by scitz |
17-Jun-03/11:37 AM |
"then had a fit" change to "then had a salad" for some reson I would of just died upon reading that, but that just me, this is a point for our side for sure, nice one.
Did I tell you about the time in my "who I'd like to thank letter" to poetry.com I actually wrote in "bigbrother bullshit publishing companys that actually have the nerve to put together compendiums of poetry, basically, destroying the identity of the poets to the poems of the masses.", and do you know what? Those motherfuckers are so out to lunch, they printed it.
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