Re: a comment on I fucked my sister (2 She's pregnant!) by <{Baba^Yaga}>	26-Jun-03/1:50 PM
The horror, may the reciept turnip.
Re: My Back Fat by charlie busted	26-Jun-03/1:45 PM
A chipper poem indeedy.
Re: a comment on -=Dark_Angel=- -=In_Decline=- by wEdible Underpantsw	26-Jun-03/1:42 PM
Was the commute getting to you? "A broken man stands alone in a field. The cool breeze billows pleasantly about his shining groin. He turns, naked, and walks into the distance. To follow would be folly; we can only stand and mourn the loss of the darkest of all poetes." This did bring my teeth to the front of my lips however.
Re: The Twenty-Fifth of Whenevber by OneFingerAnswer	26-Jun-03/1:36 PM
Whenember would pull it off better, and I feel this is an Ode.
Re: a comment on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/4:41 PM
Use periods. Not.. Because..(there's no such thing) It's... Three not two And use it only in case of an Emergency, not to trail off. Makes you look like you're loaded... And... Day dreaming... constantly.
Re: a comment on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/4:36 PM
I know this will sound mean, but your title still sucks, as a poet your title needs to be even better than the poem. It has to be a lure, a reminder, Symbolic and maintain a seperateness. Like for instance Gordian knot, one would think what? But it's perfect. In other words don't make it an idea make it something. the GK was an untiable knot, get it? So Hellish memorys encompass that much much more like this, "Maman" see that's the hellish memorys it's weird it's different people will come just to see what it means.
Re: a comment on Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/4:27 PM
Then turn it into a three poem series like my prostitue series, doing what a good screenplay does set up, climax, conclusion. Make sure that happens in each poem and in the series, do you understand?
Re: a comment on The Gecko, and the Italian book collector by horus8	24-Jun-03/2:26 PM
Don't you mean, "than" instead of "then"? I'm sorry you're stupid and insane. That must make fixing yourself meals and wiping your ass very difficult. You have my deepest condolences. And a friend and extra shotgun ammo with me anytime. I'm sorry you did not enjoy my poem:( It was written for my uncle that died two weeks ago of AIDS. He raised me after my parents died when I was 5 in an airplane crash. I will work on improving it just for you. See, it's a true story, he had this tremendous fear of geckos, and used to think that they were out to get him. Perhaps a gay gecko gave him AIDS one night while he was sleeping? What do you think?
Re: Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/2:14 PM
And change the title, please, for fuck's sake. You don't tell people the end of a movie not even at the end. Remove both of them, good god, kids, are so fucking dramatic.
Re: a comment on Tomorrow by Quarton	24-Jun-03/1:46 PM
Good point, that and the last Question mark has to be a period. I feel very strongly about this damnit.
Re: only pleasure left by richa	24-Jun-03/1:44 PM
Precisely.
Re: a comment on The Gecko, and the Italian book collector by horus8	24-Jun-03/12:58 PM
Sure, why not.
Re: only pleasure left by richa	24-Jun-03/12:52 PM
To dark for no reason, remove your last sentence entirely, and it would find the lowest level, trust me, I know.
Re: Tomorrow by Quarton	24-Jun-03/12:47 PM
If you pulled off that quetion mark at the very end, you'll double your audience, your votes and your message, and I will give you three tens in six minutes.
Re: A Gordian knot (Some dirt on a friend of mine) by Bachus	24-Jun-03/11:51 AM
Listen Bachus, I know you mean well, but since people suspect that you're really me (not) this comes across as being just a bit conceited and creepy. Do me favor, please do not discuss my past without filling out the appropriate paper work for a proper license and waivers. Thanks, carry on, drunk.
Re: Maman: Psychic Tophet by SupremeDreamer	24-Jun-03/11:44 AM
There are some brilliant twists and observations in here. Compact it by 50%. find and correct some typos and misspells. And there could be a couple of structural improvements.
Re: the nature of our stillborn by Crakyamuni	24-Jun-03/11:37 AM
Because it's not, it's a virus called SCARS
Re: -=Dark_Angel=- -=In_Decline=- by wEdible Underpantsw	24-Jun-03/11:32 AM
Cheese grater? Don't you mean a cotex.
Re: Bittersweet Emotions by buzzkilled	24-Jun-03/11:26 AM
Wow dude, next time, use both barrels.
Re: The Ode Of Clever Machine by SupremeDreamer	23-Jun-03/9:27 AM
Ah, the smell of burnt love in the morning, priceless.